I'm calmer today. Not a lot calmer, but no one was yelling or fighting this morning during my cup of coffee.
That's all I ask, you know. One cup. No fighting. Please.
Sunday morning, as Ben was heading up the stairs, angry, he blasted me- as he often does- with a little personal nastiness. He said, "And you know what? Your boobs are saggy."
Um... I'm almost 50. I've nursed two children. You better bet your life they are saggy.
I looked at Jeanine. She said, I still love them.
Are they saggy?
In an age appropriate way.
Fine, I just lie on my back for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, I took my sister to a doctor's appointment. She was very nervous and was chattering on the way there. She was talking about how stress is a huge factor in cancer.
Great, I'm so stressed, I should be hit with something big, soon.
Yesterday, the entire city of Boston shut down because there was going to be a big, giant snowstorm. The kids were home from school because the storm was going to be THAT BAD.
Um, we got a dusting.
So I have saggy boobs, cancer in the wings and kids home all day, the oldest in my face, yelling at me.
Isn't there a pill for this? A few pills?
Jeanine threw out her back. Never good and always from stress. She doesn't have saggy boobs, though.
Through the whole train wreck of a week, I came up with Outward Bound. My gut tells me this is the right thing. My gut is rarely wrong. My gut told me Martha Coakley was going to lose but I refused to acknowledge it.
Ben spent the later part of the day yesterday being helpful, sweet and kind. After he cleaned up the dishes from dinner, I looked at him and said, that's a great start. Keep it up for a week. At least.
Of course, I was the instigator, the evil one once again. I was too tough, I never listen, I don't know how hard his life is...
Three hours do not make up for three days. No. Great start, though. Keep it up.
My mantra. Me and my saggy boobs.
In the meantime, I've decided to do my own little Outward Bound with Jake. He's been begging to do winter camping for a while. Next week is school vacation so... we are going to head up to Downeast. We can park the car about a mile away from the dome. We'll walk our way in, with a sled in tow filled with supplies. Bring the dog to protect us from the bears and moose.
Yup, we'll freeze our butts off.
Maybe I just need to see the ocean. Maybe I want to be challenged in a fun but hard way. Maybe it's just Jake's enthusiasm that is infectious.
Maybe I just don't want to be yelled at for a few days.
We'll pack up some canvass and paints. Jake loves to paint and while I'm terrible, I do love to pick up a brush, too. Once, a long time ago when I was a kid, I could identify different animal tracks. It'll be much easier in the snow.
All I know is something has got to give.