Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Most Wonderful Time...

It's that time for complete and utter panic. And no, I'm not talking about the marriage vote in New Jersey. Fifteen- actually, fourteen for us- more days until Christmas morning.

Can I convert now? Oh wait, I'm an atheist.

Zachary, ever the thoughtful one, asked me why I celebrated Christmas if I did not believe in God or Jesus.

Well, I said, I do believe Jesus lived and was a great and thoughtful man. I think he said a lot of good things about how to live life. That is worth celebrating.

I didn't say because your mother makes me.

I've yet to haul out all the decorations- that's tomorrow. The tree will go up and the energy level of the kids will soar. Funny, though, when I hear the song "it's the most wonderful time of the year..." I think about the Staples commercial with the dad dancing through the store buying back to school supplies.

THAT is the most wonderful time of the year. In my humble opinion, of course.

I was at a holiday party last night for Mass Equality. Our lovely host has two adorable little boys. Still so sweet and plotting to get at the cookies in the kitchen.

I miss having babies. No, I am not going to have one, but I do miss them. Once, about a month ago, Jake came downstairs in the morning and snuggled in my lap with me. I miss that quiet time, when you just hold them, no words, with only the soft clang of the radiators filling in the room.

I have a long wait till grandchildren. Until then, I'll just coo at babies anytime I see one. Drives Ben nuts- MOM! Why do you have to do that? Of course, he's the one who points out any baby that passes by. Especially ones that are crying because I only have to make eye contact to get them to stop. Dunno why, just a baby whisperer, I guess.

Ah, you see, I'll do anything but get ready for Christmas. Take the dog for a walk, a long run on the treadmill, heck even laundry sounds good. And babies? Please, I really do know better.

If my sister was freaked about my mother's china at Thanksgiving, wait until she sees the Madonna. My mother gave it to me years ago because as a kid, I swore I heard the piano playing one Christmas eve. I ran into my sister's room and slept with her because I was so scared. The joke was that the Madonna must have been playing it.

I know, an atheist with a statue of the Madonna.

This has been a hard year. My sister's illness and surgery. The time I spent in Georgia with her before bringing her here- dead puppies and kittens. The loss in Maine that ripped my heart out.

The loss in New York that made me furious.

But through it all, there has been great joy, too. Walter's Chihuly find, Zachary's love of his new school, Jake's growing ability to read, Ben's maturity to where he is buying gifts for his friends- he is becoming a young man right before my eyes.

My wife's beautiful smile and celebrating our 19 years together.

It is the time of year to soak it all in, reflect and appreciate. Celebrate the good, change what I can, and keep working for a better world.

But first? I think I'll go take that long run.


Anonymous Morgan said...

You never know, you may get grandkids before you think!
Have fun decorating. I have yet to put the tree up. Been planning it since Thanksgiving though.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

I echo all of that. But, I do have a grandchild and believe me- it is worth the wait.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

um, I have to throw OUT the thanksgiving flowers. probably now is a good time.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous donald said...

one more thing to do to keep from decorating or shopping? get crackin there woman!

4:30 PM  
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5:51 AM  
Blogger Suzy said...

I got some of that snuggle time with meg last night because everybody else was out and about. unfortunately she can only sit in my lap a short time before the legs go numb :(. Not such a baby any more.
And I love driving my kids nuts with the cooing at the babies. If they spot them first they will say now there is a baby you don't have too... to late.

9:20 AM  

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