DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY

I am under the influence of impending vacation. Actual work may induce dizziness and should only be taken with coffee and liberal amounts of chatting.

I have to go to work today. My job is, at times, incredibly detail oriented. I work at a small, investment management company. I cannot make mistakes. Ever.

My counterpart at the brokerage firm we use is going on vacation today at 4:30pm, too. We call each other and calculate the exact number of minutes before we leave for our two-week vacations. We are both aware that we are relatively useless at this point.

I had a complete brain malfunction yesterday. As I said, I cannot make mistakes in my job. I didn't but I came close. I emailed my boss suggesting it was perhaps better to have me go on vacation immediately. She ignored me, sending back a list of tasks for me to do today.

Because she's already on vacation.

Wish me luck.