Vacation

For the next two weeks, I’ll be in Ogunquit, Maine on vacation.

I love vacation. I love Maine.

The best part? The boys have been at Dad’s camp since yesterday morning. Far, far away, in Downeast Maine, they are running around in sarongs, spitting and using potty language till Friday.

Dad’s camp is pretty much no Mom rules. Of course, the spitting and potty language still has to happen outside- the Dads are not that lenient.

For me, it’s a few days alone in my house. Jeanine is home working and just the dog and I are here. It’s a chance to try and catch up on a few things I wanted to do this summer.

I wanted to take more photographs. Not only recording events, like Zachary’s return home, but to walk around with a different set of eyes. Looking for different light, angles… or going through older photos and changing them into abstract images.

I wanted to finish my book proposal.

I wanted to play golf- my own form of Zen practice.

I wanted to spend more time outdoors in the sun and in the ocean. I cannot explain why the sun and the ocean mean so much to me this time of year, but it does. If I don’t spend the time, I end up miserable mid- November.

And I wanted to disconnect from email, news reports, and outrageous government mishaps to spend some time reading longer books. Like Susan Sontag’s book On Photography. And another I have about Alice Waters. Food and photographs.

I need to unwind a very tight knot in my chest. I need to let go for a while.

When Ben was getting ready for Dad’s camp, he said to me, I can’t wait to go and REALLY blow off some wild craziness.

I looked at him in surprise.

Yeah, I know, you think I’m crazy all the time but… well… you don’t know what I’ve been storing up.

Good, I said to him, just remember to do it outside.

I think Ben is onto something. I need a break. I need to get away from therapists, and processing and mountain of research waiting to be done at home. I want a week away from my anxiety and the constant deliberation about my marriage.

It’s what vacation is about- a chance to take a break from your everyday world, to look at things a little differently. To sleep in late, knowing nothing has to be done, nothing urgent is taking place.

Although Karl Rove is seriously bugging me. Someone needs to bitch slap that man.

For me, the year revolves around the school calendar. In a couple weeks, it’s time for a new one to begin. I love the first few weeks of school, the energy that starts pumping, seeing everyone again. Right now, however, is time to put everything in neutral and drift for a little while.

To renew and recharge.

Minus the spitting.