Sunday, November 04, 2007

Temperature Control

If beds can be made to be different softness, move at different angles then why can’t they be made with different temperature controls?

I love my wife. I love sleeping with her. Yes, I love that too, but I really do enjoy sleeping with her, even minus the hanky panky. I love to spoon or be spooned, doesn’t matter, I just love the touch.

We have one serious problem. She is always cold. I am always hot. For most of our relationship, I’ve solved that by wearing little if anything to bed, and she bundles up for the arctic even in the middle of summer. I push off all covers minus a sheet, she doubles up on the covers I’ve tossed aside. For the most part, we’ve learned to live with it.

Now we’re getting old. She’s getting colder and I’m getting hotter.

Not in a good way but in a hot flashes way.

Yes, I am too young to have hot flashes but I am having them anyway. I went through a battery of tests this fall to be told, yup, you are perimenopausal. I’m not a doctor but I was pretty sure that being wide awake and drenched in sweat at 3AM was about whacked out hormones.

But as I get hotter, Jeanine seems to be getting colder. At Walter and Allan’s Friday night. She was so cold and wrapped in blankets, Walter asked her if she was coming down with something. When we got home, she went straight to bed. When I finally went up myself, I found her wrapped not only in three layers of blankets on the bed but also the down comforter, saved for only mid winter drastically cold nights.

I felt bad, worried she was getting sick, and simply crawled into my side, pushing the covers as much as possible on her. All night I had dreams I was sick with a fever, trying to function but feeling so hot and miserable.

The next morning, I told her, I can’t do it. I can’t sleep with that thing and all the blankets. She ignored me, telling me how grateful she was that she was able to sleep and be warm.

I’m going to pretend you didn’t complain, she said, because it was so nice.

She wasn’t sick, mostly overtired, and when she pulled the giant marshmallow of heat back on the bed last night I scowled.


Needless to say, I negotiated an exchange that was completely worth my while but at 3AM (yes, it is almost always 3AM on the dot) I lay awake considering opening the window to neutralize the temperature imbalance.

The window is on my side of the bed, after all. But I made a deal and she was sleeping so soundly, how could I…

What I need is a temperature control setting for my side of the bed, and she needs one for hers. Or maybe I should hide the comforter. I have to do something because I don’t want to give up sleeping with her.

I love it too much.


Anonymous Laura said...

ok Sara, I hear ya.

Deb is ALWAYS cold. I am ALWAYS hot.

During the winter we have opted for an electric blanket to keep her warm. She can crank hers up to 10. I usually keep mine on 1 if anything.

It works for the most part. BUT...there are times that she is on 10 and gets hot in the middle of the night and flips off her blanket onto ME! So, do the math, Im on 1 - she's on 10 which wakes me up because essentially Im now an 11! I usually wake up feeling like Im being boiled alive....

I complain - she laughs - but we wouldnt have it any other way!

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

I have the solution for you. Heated mattress pad with dual controls. We got one years ago since I am typically the hot one and my partner, T, is typically cold. She sleeps with socks on. Anyways, it allows her to have her side of the bed as warm as she wants and I control mine. It is much better than an electric blanket since most of the heat is concentrated at your feet and decrease as it moves towards your head. Highly recommend it. I turn my side on just so the sheets aren't cold when I get in, then it is off for the night.

laura, the other commenter should try one. There is no flipping of unwanted heat onto you in the middle of the night.

8:29 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh AMY! I'm on it.


7:03 AM  
Anonymous Heidi said...

We have the heated pad too!

Best thing since sliced toast!

9:12 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

shhhh... I ordered one today. I'm going to surprise Jeanine with it.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Jessica said...

We don't have the temperature problem but, rather, a noise problem. I like things perfectly, completely silent. My wife likes a loud box fan which she calls "white noise." Anyone got any suggestions on that one?

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Ellen Andersen said...

Heated mattress pads are great. My partner and I have also found joy in switching to the European style of blankets: two single down blankets. When we were in Europe this summer we realized how much we liked them. They're folded lengthwise when not in use, which looks a little odd to Americans used to one big blanket covering the bed, but hey, I can live with that.

9:51 AM  

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