Monday, October 20, 2008

I Want To Know

I want to know why my cat licks the Steuben swans on my desk

I want to know why Ben is the most loving, adorable human being for one minute then a nightmare in the next

I want to know why the Patriots have to suck so bad this year

I want to know why every straight parent at the elementary school comes up to me and says, I really love Rachel Maddow

I want to know why a man can stick a vacuum on his penis at a car wash- like no one would notice?

I want to know why men will always always always explain their mistakes by blaming you

I want to know why we need ads to convince people that McCain is a fucking nightmare- we could use all those dollars for gosh, I dunno, education instead

I want to know why when Jake belts out an obnoxious burp, I feel a little parental pride

I want to know why women are clearly so much smarter, more complete and more capable (see baby making as first example) and yet are still a 51% minority

I want to know why people feel comfortable denying gays marriage rights but think taking the right to marry away from interracial couples is beyond their imagination

I want to know why children sleeping, even teenagers, are so beautiful even when they just pushed your buttons so bad you wanted to engage in retroactive abortion rights

I want to know why no one will eat the ends of the bread, and instead of just tossing them to the dog to eat, paw through the bread making a mess

I want to know why ... please explain.


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Because life is so mysterious that we can't take any of it too serious(ly).

10:14 PM  
Blogger Sara said...


10:18 PM  
Blogger Suzy said...

you sound like I did a little while ago as I was putting the 50th dish in the dishwasher. Because because because some days that answer just doesn't cut it.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Ulla said...

I think you notice all the wrong ones among men - try to stop focusing on the idiotic 10%. I'd say the really stupid, offensive ratio of women is at least as big.
If you focus on all the bad in the worst of men and all the good in the best of women, of course we come out lilly white in comparison, but it's not fair.

4:58 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

oh, ulla, I was mad at the two dads of my kids- and they are without question the cream of the crop- for being completely unable to simply say, whoa. sorry. I messed up.

that and I still think men are inferior because society lets 'em be that way. I'm raising three boys- I know they can do better.

7:33 AM  
Blogger Seda said...

This is off-topic, but this post seems so right on I thought I'd share it anyway:

8:55 AM  
Blogger Ulla said...

Well, I sometimes think that we women, at least the heterosexual ones, demand too little of ourselves, because we have men to do the heavy lifting - earningswise, for instance.
Men in general do not have that luxury - they have to perform and compete with other men.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Lula de Montes said...

I can explain the bread thing: because in our family, wrestling matches will ensue over the ends of a good loaf of freshly baked bread.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Morgan said...

And that is competition? That's like calling synchronized swimming a sport. Throw in a couple of sharks, then you can call it a sport. Have the men play by the rules women are subjected to and then you can call them heavy lifters.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Sue J said...

I want to know why my cat licks the Steuben swans on my desk

Well if you have to ask ....

3:33 PM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

/I want to know why the Patriots have to suck so bad this year/

Combination of players capping out and players injured?

And of course, the wrath of God for beating the Steelers this year. Indianapolis is also on God's shit list because the Irsays moved them out of Baltimore.

If you're getting bread at supermarkets, get it at the deli and have them slice it.

Bread that will not hurt when you drop a loaf on your toe is an abomination unto the lord.

Wrt prop 8 morons, what part of "ELMINATES RIGHT" don't they understand?

You've probably seen this a million times:

I just love the smaller efforts, people's efforts. Chelsea Handler came out against it. The atheist, agnostic, and non-religious group on Facebook is solid against 8 and the rest.

Why did Colin Powell endorse Obama? James Dobson drove him out of the Republican Party.

The Emerging Church is growing, turning tightasses into neighbors and allies. Holy shit! Intersectionality is becoming normative.

Ben is such a pain sometimes because he's evil.


Wrt men, we are scum. We've been trying to keep it a secret, but we know it too.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

Wrt Rachel Maddow, either (a) you have a doctorate or (b) it's like when I told a Black friend how much I like Spike Lee. Or why I just posted the URL of 8against8


8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?


2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch

kelly divine

5:48 AM  

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