God, Fate and One Last Trip

I took Zachary to a Celtics game last night. Lots of cheering, hot dogs and popcorn. We lost by a point. The grace of the game came back to me- on TV, I find the antics too much. In person, it was a different game.

The players are so quick. The level of skill they bring to the most mundane tasks is lost on the TV screen, no matter how large. Our seats are so close you can hear them breathe.

I had my boy right next to me, completely engaged.

One the way home, Zachary and I had a very interesting conversation. Weaving through Boston traffic, he asked from his back seat, Mom? Do you believe in God?

Uh... I'm trying to miss the Land Rover trying to cross three lanes from the left.

Kinda. Well, not really but … what do you think?

I don't think so, he said. It sounds like a legend to me.

Ah, I thought to myself. This is the “I don't believe in Santa anymore” time.

Well, legends are very powerful. The bible, to some, is the word of God. I think it's a great book, or as you say, a legend.

So you believe in God?

I believe in fate.

What's that?

Believing in fate is to believe things happen for a reason. I believe that. That we meet people, or go to places or make decisions in certain ways- I think that's driven by fate.

Oh.

The conversation ended because the traffic was... well... Boston traffic. Not paying attention could cost you a fender or worse- have someone get in line in front of you. I needed to concentrate. I missed the Santa angle but I'll pick it up later.

I thought about my friend. My teacher, she showed me how to ask the kind of questions that get right to the heart of the issue. Look behind the curtain and don’t let anyone’s praise ever go to your head. They are grant seekers and you are a big wallet walking around. Stay grounded.

My friend, she would grab my arm and pull us both to the buffet- of a party we were not invited to but simply guests at the same hotel, or participants of another conference- grab a glass of wine and start to eat. She was always eager to hear every word about my life, my family.

She died last night.

It was, I believe, my fate to know her. And such a gift.

Tomorrow, I'll make one last trip to Rochester. At least, for this year.