A Few Random Thoughts
Sitting in the airport this morning, Ben handed me his headphones.
Here, Mom, listen to this…
What is it?
My favorite song.
I’m listening… I’m listening… and then I start laughing.
It’s “Wheels on the Bus!”
No, it’s “G-Slide." By Little Momma.
I listen to the words. OH MY GOD. Jeanine sees my face.
Did you buy an explicit song, Ben?
NO… a friend gave it to me.
I didn’t think it was possible to sexualize “The Wheels on the Bus.” But I was soooooo wrong.
***
Yesterday, as we were in the midst of our intense tennis game, as in intense laughter, Jeanine’s sisters decided I was like a ferocious otter.
They were making fun of a move at the net I made, a leaping, arm stretched, and completely missed shot.
At least it didn’t hit me.
If ever I get too big a head, or think too highly of myself, I only need to go visit Jeanine’s sisters. They have no mercy.
Not even for ferocious otters.
***
I have decided I can no longer be a baby. I can no longer dig my heels in and say no for the sake of saying no. It is time to grow up.
And buy a minivan. Yes, a minivan. I have three children. Ben is already as tall as Jeanine. Zachary is less than too inches behind. I need the space. I need the cargo room. I need a place for the dog to sit when we have a lot of luggage.
I will NOT buy a huge SUV. Nor will I buy a Hummer, much to Ben’s dismay.
But Mom, Hummers are so cool…
I’m not cool. I’m not buying a gas guzzling, environmental nightmare.
But they have a hybrid…
NO. The governor of California has a hybrid Hummer. They don’t make hybrids.
But Mom…
No.
The funny thing is? His next choice is a minivan. All three kids love minivans and any time we rent one on vacation I have to listen to them wane poetically for weeks after about how great it was. They love the second row captain chairs and the third row is their own sanctuary. It’s as if they are in a different car when they sit back there. Party time. Not to mention the number of cup holders exceeds any legal passenger limit by far, allowing up to two beverages per person to be kept close at hand.
My friend Margaret, the Martha Stewart of Parenting and long time minivan owner, tells me it’s okay. It’ll just add to my mystique- big ol’ lesbian driving around in such a traditionally suburban vehicle. That’s only because she drives one that I dubbed “the whale” because it’s huge and gray. She’s waiting till I pull it into my driveway.
And then will tease me mercilessly.
Maybe I should put her in touch with Jeanine’s sisters for some pointers.
I’m guessing they’ll suggest calling it the ferocious otter-mobile.
Just shoot me now.
Here, Mom, listen to this…
What is it?
My favorite song.
I’m listening… I’m listening… and then I start laughing.
It’s “Wheels on the Bus!”
No, it’s “G-Slide." By Little Momma.
I listen to the words. OH MY GOD. Jeanine sees my face.
Did you buy an explicit song, Ben?
NO… a friend gave it to me.
I didn’t think it was possible to sexualize “The Wheels on the Bus.” But I was soooooo wrong.
***
Yesterday, as we were in the midst of our intense tennis game, as in intense laughter, Jeanine’s sisters decided I was like a ferocious otter.
They were making fun of a move at the net I made, a leaping, arm stretched, and completely missed shot.
At least it didn’t hit me.
If ever I get too big a head, or think too highly of myself, I only need to go visit Jeanine’s sisters. They have no mercy.
Not even for ferocious otters.
***
I have decided I can no longer be a baby. I can no longer dig my heels in and say no for the sake of saying no. It is time to grow up.
And buy a minivan. Yes, a minivan. I have three children. Ben is already as tall as Jeanine. Zachary is less than too inches behind. I need the space. I need the cargo room. I need a place for the dog to sit when we have a lot of luggage.
I will NOT buy a huge SUV. Nor will I buy a Hummer, much to Ben’s dismay.
But Mom, Hummers are so cool…
I’m not cool. I’m not buying a gas guzzling, environmental nightmare.
But they have a hybrid…
NO. The governor of California has a hybrid Hummer. They don’t make hybrids.
But Mom…
No.
The funny thing is? His next choice is a minivan. All three kids love minivans and any time we rent one on vacation I have to listen to them wane poetically for weeks after about how great it was. They love the second row captain chairs and the third row is their own sanctuary. It’s as if they are in a different car when they sit back there. Party time. Not to mention the number of cup holders exceeds any legal passenger limit by far, allowing up to two beverages per person to be kept close at hand.
My friend Margaret, the Martha Stewart of Parenting and long time minivan owner, tells me it’s okay. It’ll just add to my mystique- big ol’ lesbian driving around in such a traditionally suburban vehicle. That’s only because she drives one that I dubbed “the whale” because it’s huge and gray. She’s waiting till I pull it into my driveway.
And then will tease me mercilessly.
Maybe I should put her in touch with Jeanine’s sisters for some pointers.
I’m guessing they’ll suggest calling it the ferocious otter-mobile.
Just shoot me now.
posted by Sara at 6:00 PM
3 Comments:
I finally gave in. I used to ONLY drive sports cars...well, because they are a babe magnet of course! Not to mention I LOVE driving stick....but anyway...
I gave in and bought an SUV. GMC Envoy. I have to admit, I LOVE it. Its cool AND has tons of room.
I dont know if I can go back to a car now.
I think you buy a Mercedes SUV or a Cadillac Escalade....Ben would SO agree!!
Hi Sarita, That one about the tennis match and the minivan made me actually laugh out loud! Let me set the record straight your two sister-in-laws are not undefeated. We were stomped on today. We lost in the third set 6-3. It was a heartbreaker but I am taking it as a lesson to "GET BETTER"! At least reading your blog made me feel better. Please take care, Love Ya, Cheri
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