Rural Straight Guest Post

by Donald Myer

When Sara asked if I would consider writing a guest blog for her while they are enjoying some wonderful family time in Costa Rica, I was not sure what, if anything, I could offer of interest. I mean, just look at the name of the site, "Suburban Lesbian Housewife." What fits with me?

Suburban? I couldn't live in a more rural setting. A small log cabin on the coast of downeast Maine. The closest store is 12 miles away.

Lesbian? Even though I have several friends that might argue this point, I am not a lesbian.

Housewife? I am neither a housewife nor househusband. My ex of 17 years and I split up about 6 years ago, when we decided we were better suited to be friends than partners.

So, the only thing I can think to write about, is to tell of a few of my experiences with this wonderful family.

I have to start with Allan. We first met 25 years ago this month, when my 2 roommates and I were invited up from New Jersey for a Christmas party at Allan's. My roommates had met Allan that summer in Ogunquit. Allan and I became instant friends, and have been like brothers ever since. We have one of those relationships where we can speak volumes to each other by only saying a few words. There is nothing I wouldn't feel free to tell him.

Walter came into Allan's life a couple years later, and he was the perfect fit. Now here is a man with the "gay gene": He can turn some simple plants into a fabulous garden, a bucket of flowers into an outrageous centerpiece, and I am not even going to tell you what he can do with a bolt of fabric. If you are a regular visitor to Sara's blog, I am sure you have seen many pictures of Walter's work.

I have only known Sara, Jeanine and the boys for about 6 years. We have had many wonderful times together, and now that they all have a house here in downeast Maine, I can only look forward to having them around a lot more often.

Sara has forbidden me to send in any pictures or tell stories about her. So I will not be able to tell you about our ride home from Portland a couple years ago when she, Walter and I had a chef's dinner of 13 courses, with 13 different wines and champagnes, at Hugo's. It wasn’t pretty!! Sara insists she will one day find me a husband, one with all his teeth. Believe me, I am not holding my breath on that one!

3 years ago Allan and Walter asked if they could bring the boys to my house for a week. Thus began "dad’s camp." A week each summer with just the guys. Free from "mom's" rules, but not without rules. No potty mouth, no "shut up" and no running in the house. Everyone had things to do to help out. A chart was set up making sure someone cooked, someone set the table and someone cleaned the kitchen for each meal. The boys shaved after every bath, sans blades of course. They caught their first fish from the dock and put on shows on the deck. It has been a wonderful experience for me, and I believe for the boys as well. No computer games or cell phones. Just playing outdoors, going to the beach, and running and screaming out in the country.

There are those that would ask how kids with 2 moms and 2 dads could have a normal life. I have to say, I can't tell any difference with these boys than any other kids. They are no different than my 20 nieces and nephews, or my straight friends' children. They have their good moments as well as bad. They may be even luckier than most; they have twice as many parents to look up to!

One night a couple years ago I was having dinner at Allan and Walter's house, and the boys were there. At the end of the dinner, 5-year-old Jake looked over at me, and with those big blue eyes, asked very innocently "Donald, do you have a husband?" How wonderful that a child of that age would think nothing of asking that question.

So during this season of family celebrations, I feel so very blessed to be a small part of this wonderful family. I love watching them grow and work out all the things in life that families goes through, even the more traditional ones. They are doing a wonderful job, as I am sure you regular readers know.

Happy holidays!