Friday, September 15, 2006

Birthday List

Yesterday morning before running out to school, Ben handed me his birthday list. A silver IPod video- wants to be a big kid- Pokemon decks- nah, maybe still a little kid- Motorola Razor phone- big kid- a ton of skittles- definitely a little kid- and the last item? A baby sister who is 2 years old.

At first I thought it read, a babysitter 2 years old. No, a baby sister. Clear space between the words. It’s spelled right.

On the walk home from school, I mentioned his request.

Um, Ben? That's not going to happen.

There is one reality of being a lesbian- it is knowing absolutely, positively, there will be no more babies. We are not playing with fire. No sperm involved unless it’s bought and defrosted. We are the queens of Planned Parenthood.

Why?? You can adopt one, you know. And she should be blonde...

Jake pipes in, So she'll be like me!

… And her name will be Gwen...

BEN, no! I'm not kidding.

It doesn't cost any money, Mom... that would be slavery. It's free to get people.

Okay, at this point, I don't even know where to go with the conversation. So many choices. People are free? Does that include IPod videos and Motorola Razor phones?

Ben... no. No more children in our family.


Is this some cruel and unusual punishment I am handing out? Once again, I am soooooo unreasonable.

Ben, do you want to call Luke about hanging out this weekend?

I’m going for distraction. Hey, it’s worked since he was a baby. I’m not ready to give up that tool yet. (Note: I am not allowed to refer to it as a play date. Play dates are for babies. He is not a baby.)

He has two little brothers... Ben points out, as if I am robbing him of the right to have what every other kid in the school has. Baby sisters and Heely’s, in his opinion, rank up there with notebooks and pencils. Necessary equipment to function at school.

Zachary, usually Switzerland in these discussions, being true to his middle child role, mumbles, Might be fun to have a little sister...

And we could help her with all her princess outfits- Ben is rejuvenated.

NO. You guys, it's just not that simple.

I thought to myself, on one hand, I love this kind of discussion. I love the fact that they are talking- the walk home can be filled with grunt responses to my questions. I find with my boys I have to be engaged in a physical activity to get them to loosen up enough to go beyond simple answers. On the other, I am desperate to get to the house so I can put a snack in front of them, a sure distraction to get them off the subject of baby sisters.

With blonde hair. Named Gwen.

After dinner last night, he came into my office and with a heavy sigh, crossed out the baby sister. He wrote, MonkeyBall Adventures, a video game, in her place.

Poor Gwen. Somehow, I know it’s not the last I’ve heard of her. In the meantime, I can do MonkeyBall Adventures.


Blogger Heidi said...

Tell Ben we will be happy to drop off our 2 year old whenever he wants, he can call her whatever he wants and we'll even supply the blonde wig!

3:46 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh, no. Nice try.

8:37 AM  
Blogger cinemasonic said...

Let's face it. Ben wants a live doll that he can dress up.

10:12 PM  
Blogger cinemasonic said...

And a 7 1/2 year old blonde is too old?


10:13 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

ben does want a doll to dress up.

but he is also very sweet to small children other than his own little brother.

what he doesn't understand is a little sister will cry and be miserable, too.

6:49 PM  

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