Saturday, November 04, 2006

My Do It

I have too many people telling me what to post on my blog.

Jeanine read what I wrote today and said, nope. You can’t post that.

Why?

Too grim.

But I’ve been working on it all day… what else am I going to post?

Dunno. Just can’t post that. You need a few lighter days.

You sound like Walter.

Walter is right.

Hmph.

Okay, I won’t post it. But I will eventually. Promise.

Today I did have a moment of brilliance as a parent. Not often I have my kids perfectly pegged but today I did. We are looking at private schools for Ben. For many reasons, but the biggest being he is a bright kid who is trying his hardest not to be seen in the classroom. He so wants fit in, my fear is he’ll avoid achievement in order to be cool. Linger in the middle, where he thinks no one notices.

I notice. I know exactly what he's doing.

Tomorrow is the first open house I want him to go to- a wonderful school where the programs reflect a variety of approaches to learning and have a heavy leaning to the arts. Ben, however, hates change. Any change. If I told him he was going to Disney World in five minutes, he’d be mad. No time to absorb it or prepare for it, he would take it as an attack.

When he was two, he’s yell, MY DO IT! About everything. He’d do it, thank you very much, in his own time.

So when I was talking to Walter earlier about how to present it, I thought- it has to be about choice. It has to be enticing. What is something Ben loves?

Private and Exclusive.

Fashionable.

We made the offer to go visit a private school that focuses on art and creative writing- two things he secretly loves but denies in public- because he was going to a school next year that, unfortunately because it was public, lacked the same kind of resources.

His eyes lit up.

Is this a you-have-to-go-to-this-school-no-matter-what kind of thing or is it about my choice?

We will make the final decision. It may be a place you love but if it doesn’t meet our standards, we may say no.

Big smile.

Okay. I’ll go.

It was a moment of parenting that felt perfect. No fights. No tears. No stubborn refusal.

I’m not sure this is the right school. There are many to see. But he’s open to the idea. I got him to say MY DO IT.

And for a kid like Ben? That’s huge.

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