Saturday, June 23, 2007


The boys are outside playing 4 square.

The breeze is cool.

When the plane took off this morning, I knew, that's it.

Door shut.

My mother's condo is a beautiful place. And it was hers. Totally and completely. Any dreams I had of keeping it was like holding the scarf to my face the other night- a fleeting attempt to keep what is gone.

Time to move forward. We're having game night with the kids and ordering Chinese food. I read an article in the New York Times today- some bullshit about a liberal being against gay marriage that got the blood surging again. Stay tuned- I'll write about it tomorrow.

I'm almost done.

Almost. There is one piece missing- I may never get it back but I'm going to try. It is an actual photograph but it symbolizes something deeper for me. It's about closure. I feel obligated to my mother to be certain everything is where it should be, where she intended it to be. There are things she wanted from me I could never do.

This is something I can.

Then I can to move forward, take my lessons, my scary clown, and the best of what my mother had to offer me.

And shine the way she couldn't quite dream for me but the way I know I can.


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