Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bibles, Sex Kits and Goldfish- Oh My!

When I was a kid and my family traveled, I had a thing about bathrooms. I had to see as many bathrooms as I could. I didn’t really need to go but loved looking at the design, how some had attendants, some were disgusting, some where modern, some were old fashioned, some actually had lounges inside.

My mother swore I was going to write a book someday about bathrooms across America, because when I got back to the table, or back in the car, I would entertain everyone with a lively description of the interior. It fascinated me.

The other thing I remember doing was checking to see where the Bible was in the hotel room placed famously by the Gideon’s “an evangelical Christian organization dedicated to distributing copies of the Bible in over 80 languages and more than 180 countries of the world to those who might not otherwise encounter it, most famously in hotel and motel rooms.”

Sometimes it was on the desk, sometimes in the bedside table, sometimes on the bedside table. I never really understood why it was there, but I knew it was always going to be there, somewhere. Next stop was the elevator, if there was one, and to hit every button for every floor. Bible, then elevator. It was what made traveling fun.

Which is why I was alarmed by a recent alert from the American Family Association- a proud and completely fanatical right wing group as enjoyable to read as Ernest Angley was to watch on TV-

Hotels replace Gideon Bibles with "sex kits"

The latest fad with some hotels is to replace their Bibles with "intimacy kits." For instance, at New York City's trendy Soho Grand Hotel guests can enjoy a gourmet mini-bar, an iPod, a flat-screen TV and even the company of a complimentary pet goldfish. But no Bible.

Parent company Accor Hotels decided to replace the Gideon Bibles with "intimacy kits." For Accor, providing travelers with sexual paraphernalia is more important than the Bible.”

I don’t know about you, but I do mention God from time to time while using one of those intimacy kits. Seems there’s room for the bible, too. If you can’t smoke after sex anymore, why not read a few of your favorite verses?

Okay, that’s a little weird but no more weird than having a goldfish in your hotel room. Is it a visual treat or a complimentary hors dourves?

Personally, I’m in favor of bibles being put in hotel rooms. Yes, this atheist is pro-bible. Well, pro-bible in hotel rooms. For me it’s a long ago treat to figure out where it is in each room right along with checking out the latest styles in public bathroom accessories.

And if they spend their money on that, they won’t have it to spend elsewhere, like putting those bibles in our schools.

In fact, maybe they should supply two per room, just in case.


Blogger PookyShoehorn said...

Those poor goldfish. I hope they can avert their eyes ....

3:54 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

pooky, just eat 'em first!

4:36 PM  
Anonymous pookyshoehorn said...

I like sushi, but ...

8:51 AM  
Blogger HarlieA said...

why are religion and sex always mutually exclusive? why do we have to choose between the big red dildo and the old testament? or is it the new?

10:07 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

big red dildo, goldfish watching and burning bushes.

whatever kind of bush you want to burn.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Molly said...

Harliea, it's not the Old Testament...Jews are all about the sex. In fact, it's a mitzvah (commandment) to have sex with your spouse on Shabbat.

Not one of the big commandments, mind you, but it's certainly there.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

that's it, I'm gonna convert.

7:33 AM  

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