Good luck, Ian

I have my best friend from growing up with me in Ogunquit for the week. Who ever knew Suzy would end up with four great kids, plus one, and I'd have three of my own. I love Suz, she loves me. We had moment when we thought we'd be lovers... it never happened, even thought I wanted it to, she wanted it to, never on the same day, the same moment.

I guess it's better that way. She's beyond my sister now. She's a choice in my life. My family of choice.

Suzy's son Ian is going to college. I can't quite believe we've moved from Ian, infant baby with Yoda ears to grown man, full beard, taller than me, going to college. Asking me about Belvidere vodka and wine. I love him. I cooked his mom and dad chicken Parmesan when he was a baby. This week? hamburgers, hot dogs, pasta and salad, eggs, bacon, and sandwiches upon sandwiches to take to the beach.

Tonight, I knew they were all hungry. I took some flat bread, olive oil, asagio cheese, mozzarella, cooked it up. Then I cut up an entire watermelon.

Gone. When I put it on a plate and take it into the living room, it's like a tornado hits. They are hungry. It makes my heart jump a happy beat to see them eat.

However, as I sat at the beach today, I watched people. I observed a few things...

1. Men with tiny weenies tend to wear very tight Speedos. I'm not sure why. Knowing that it's not any bigger than my pinkie finger sure isn't a turn on to me but what do I know. And no, they are not gay men, but straight men.

2. There are a lot of really white people in Maine.

3. If you lay out a towel, a child will walk across it. It doesn't matter how many times you yell...

4. I think there should be a kind of handicapped space at the beach for people like me. A separate space, clearly defined and a tag above my head that says "does not like to be touched with sand. does not like to be sat in front of, or even remotely near. may bite if personal space invaded."

5. Gay men are beautiful not because they are necessarily all that much better looking but because they care. They take that extra effort to... shave their chests. Or wax their backs. Or, for god's sake, wear a tee shirt. And if they wear a speedo? They're packing something serious. Or a sock.

Hey, it's the beach. Of course I look.

Meantime, I'm saying goodbye to the "dude" man. The little boy who always smiled when we walked in the room- he had no idea I wasn't going to change his diaper. The boy who pointed to pumpkins calling them "dudes" along with everything else when he was two, the boy who made me think... damn. Yes. I can have a baby, too.

If Suzy did it, so can I.

I love you, Ian. Remember- just beer. No booze. Get your feet under you first.

And above all, find great pizza.