Monday, December 28, 2009

Fly No More

Perhaps we won't come home. I cannot imagine standing in the airport for hours and hours to have my body searched, bags checked- no books? I mean... no books??? Hello? I have two six hour flights ahead of me and I'm not to read a book?

OHHHHH, but you can buy one once you are past security. Whatever.

Can I take my medication with me? Should I stash a few in my wallet? Look like some crazed drug addict when in fact, I'm more worried about getting stuck somewhere... Can I bring a toothbrush? I always have a toothbrush in my briefcase just in case. I long ago gave up on toothpaste- too much hassle and most hotels will give you a little tube if you ask.

I'm surprised they aren't having everyone take off their pants and put them through the xray. It would be a boon to the underwear industry- I mean, please... you couldn't get caught with old underwear.

I'm sick of it. It's all stupid. For one, no one is going to get away with something nutty on a plane- I think this was a good case in point. People will DO something now. People DID do something.

Instead, we will change the rules, some businesses will figure out how to make a ton on people's panic, and we will be no more safe than we were before. Why don't we try, I dunno, better foreign relations and an ounce of common sense? Instead, we'll get more guns in airports held by security forces that won't make us more secure.

Once, a long time ago, I loved to fly. It was magical to me. You were served food- even in coach- stewards were polite and lovely, and your friends or family waited for you to arrive at the gate.

No more. Sit still, god forbid you get sick in the bathroom, and soon the seatbelts will lock into place.

And send another few thousand troops to the middle east. That'll do it. That will make us safer.

Maybe we'll just start looking for a nice little house here instead.


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

I agree completely. I keep saying that the terrorists have won already- they have caused us, in our panic, to make air travel a complete and utter ridiculous exercise in futility. And is it working? Who the hell knows?
Yeah. Stay in Hawaii. I hear it's lovely there. (understatement)

10:58 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

if you get a house, make sure there is a room for me! you keep saying i am family, remember.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

3 feet of snow in downeast, donald? I bet you wanna be here.

1:21 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

haven't heard any amounts yet, just things like "snow for 3 days" "heavy, heavy snow" "setting up like the blizzard of '78"

guess we will be bringing in the new year with a bang here downeast!

enjoy hawaii! good luck getting home.

5:46 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

we discussed your snow last night. the kids were concerned you would get snowed in with no power.

wally and I were not concerned. we knew you'd been there, done that before.

11:18 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

so nice that the kids were concerned, but i won't be totally alone, pam and peter are coming up to their house tonight for the weekend, so i will have some friends around with whom to play in the snow.

of course, allan called this morning and bagged his trip downeast, lightweight!!

happy new year to you all, i love you guys!

4:28 PM  
Blogger Sue J said...

"we discussed your snow last night"

When? While lying on the beach? While applying sunscreen? As you brushed the sweat from your brow? As you watched the sun set over the lava rock while sipping mai tais?

Okay, so I don't actually know what a mai tai is, but I'm sure you've had something with an umbrella in it, right?

Glad you're having a great time -- nice that you're still thinking of us at home, shivering under our new Christmas snuggies ....


4:35 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

a mai tai is rum and... um.. stuff.

and yes, it has a little umbrella.

the kids were sincerely worried about donald. I know he's a crusty old man and will be fine.

1:32 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

"a crusty old man"! honey, you are going to pay for that comment big time! just you wait till i see you on the 16th!!

4:55 PM  
Blogger Candi said...

it is completely stupid.... and did i read that right? you cant bring a book on a plane ?? wft ??

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

long time no write. hope you're enjoying your trip. what happened to your guest writers while you're away?

3:09 PM  
Anonymous donald said...

i guess we screwed up so bad the last time she didn't want to ask us again!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?


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12:40 AM  

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