Monday, July 25, 2011

Happy Birthday

In the last two weeks, I have had two separate, intense moments where I felt my sister's presence in a big way.

The day of Ben's graduation from Outward Bound- which by the way he graduated with honors and yes, I am beyond proud of him- I woke up in the morning, checked my email and there was one from my sister.

Um, I canceled her account a while ago.

It was spam, and something someone sent because they generated random email addresses. But on the day of Ben's graduation? I know how proud she would have been of him. I know how close they were.

Just chance, I thought. Little weird but... just chance.

Right?

Yesterday was my sister's birthday. I had remembered in the morning, but I have to be honest, other drama was pressing and it slipped my mind. I was taking Ben- as a graduation present- to Rihanna with his pals. Big fun, we were dancing, having a blast... and my sister's best friend called me.

I was immediately brought back to the fact that it was her birthday. I started to cry, cry hard. My sister... I miss her. I could hear her making fun of me dancing, making fun of Ben playfully, all with a giant smile on her face.

Oh, Cathy. I wish you were there.

I called her friend back this morning. She said to me, I know this is strange but... do you have an envelope for me?

She came to me in a dream and said she had an envelope.

I was stunned. I did have an envelope for her. I found an addressed envelope in Cathy's storage locker the other day. I had held onto it because I wanted to tell her first.

It's a little strange to get a letter from someone who is dead.

Or email.

How could she have known? She lives in Upstate New York. I hadn't told anyone.

The email? Sure, that could have simply been a coincidence. The envelope?

No way.

Okay, Cathy. I get it. I hear you. I know what you're saying.

I want you to know, Ben's doing great. Jake and Zachary talk about you all the time. We all hold you close to our hearts. They all still think they can say something really inappropriate by saying first, "Aunt Cathy would say..."

I miss you. Happy birthday.

5 Comments:

Anonymous donald said...

cathy will always be with you!

6:11 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

oh I know but this is kinda WITH me.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Sunny said...

It gives you chills doesn't it? I still have things happen that tell me my son is still looking out for me. The hurt never goes away...but occasionally, I have moments that make me smile. They are with us. They know. xxx

8:33 AM  
Anonymous lez zorba said...

It's like we are in separate rooms but we can't hear each other. The only way we can really connect is by knocking on the wall.

7:29 AM  
Anonymous lez zorba said...

It's like we are in separate rooms but we can't hear each other. The only way we can really connect is by knocking on the wall.

7:29 AM  

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