Monday, November 20, 2006

Big Trouble

I have had an enormous amount of feedback about my blog lately.

My wife is PISSED.

My mother in law is really concerned. She should be.

I had someone who I don’t know at all write me an email suggesting some helpful hints to a better marriage. Thank you for your concern.

My friend Margaret worries that I am rubbing salt into Jeanine’s wounds. I think I’ve been incredibly fair about Jeanine. Believe me, I could bitch a lot more.

Walter said, you need to tell people why you write this blog.

Indeed.

I am an outsider and an insider, all at once. I am white. I am privileged. I have a beautiful home. I live in a gorgeous neighborhood. I have plenty of food to feed my children. Access excellent public education, no crime threat and two cars that work.

I am also a lesbian. My marriage is not recognized outside of Massachusetts. People lined up at the State House in Boston yesterday to wave flags and cheer the current governor’s attempt to repeal the right to marriage for all in this state. I have been harassed, yelled at, fired from a job, denied health care coverage all because I am a lesbian.

When someone in Iowa, New York, California- wherever- reads my blog, my hope and goal is that they can relate to what I experience on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes, not so good. We all struggle with our past, some more than others. We all struggle in our marriages from time to time. We all want to wring out kids necks, if only when we’ve stepped on the same Lego piece for the tenth time in a single day.

I’m a person. Just like everyone else.

I deserve rights. Just like everyone else.

In this country, there is only one state where gays and lesbians can get legally married. One. In the land of the free and home of the brave, one state has the courage to treat people like me equally.

If by writing this blog, I get people to see that my life isn’t so different, my kids are like theirs and deserve all the same legal protections, I have made a difference.

Being gay or lesbian in this country is different. We are not allowed to marry. We are not allowed to serve, openly, in the armed services. We are not allowed, in many states, to adopt children. We are not allowed, in many states, to be foster parents. We cannot list our spouses on insurance policies. We often cannot have our family members listed on a healthcare policy. We cannot enter hospital rooms of our spouses. The list goes on and on.

I am not perfect. I have been a good wife and a lousy one. I take my marriage very seriously. It’s only been “legal” for two years but believe me, I have been married 15 years.

The point of this blog is to reach out and make a connection. I’m not trying to air dirty laundry to be spiteful. I’m not trying to get people on my side. At this point over 6,000 people have logged on since I started this site in late August. Some are people who have never met a gay person (or at least think they haven’t). They get a peek at what it is to be a Suburban Lesbian Housewife.

And maybe, when they go to the voting booth and have a chance to decide whether or not someone like me can have all the same protections they have? They won’t be so afraid.

Not because I’m perfect. Not because I won’t end up divorced like over 60% of heterosexual marriages do, but because I’m a person.

Just like everyone else.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:33 PM  

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