Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Metal Mouth Time

Ben had braces put on- top and bottom.

He is in major pain. He started to cry when he was setting the table for dinner last night. I can’t eat anything, he said.

I felt so bad for him. I remember getting braces. I remember the feeling of my mouth being in a vice. It took days between them being tightened for the ache to subside.

Me? I’m fine. No big deal. Did my running. Took the kids to the dentist, had three conference calls and cooked dinner. Rip out a piece of my uterus one day, back to life the next.

I realize it’s because I’m a woman. Let’s face it- Men are babies. They are babies when they are little and they never get better. Women bleed for days on end and never miss a beat. Men? Remember Wade Boggs of the Red Sox not being able to play because he had hemorrhoids?

Please. After giving birth to two babies, if I used the hemorrhoid card to get out of work, I’d be on permanent disability.

I feel for Ben- I do. I fed him chicken soup for dinner, with yogurt and Jeanine made him a fruit smoothie for dessert.

When I tucked him in, he asked me, earnestly, Do braces rust?

No, honey, they don’t.

By this morning, he went from pathetic to pathological. He almost kicked the dog when she got in his way. If it had been Jake, he would have been down for the count.

It’s not that bad, Ben.

When he arrived home this afternoon, he was talking to Walter on the phone.

I know. They’ll be off in twelve months, maybe ten.

I overheard and said, Um… try two years.

He held up his hand. Nope. Twelve months. That’s all I’m doing.

It was a fight not to engage in so I simply smiled. It’s not like he can remove them himself. After he got off the phone, he went into the bathroom to view the offending mechanics in his mouth.

Now I have pimples AND braces, he said in disgust. PERFECT.

I won’t tell him there could be worse things, because I know it’s as bad as it gets right now. I won’t mention the appointment in 8 weeks when they take a little wrench and crank up the tension again.

I just smiled, put my head back down to the computer.

And called the dog to sit next to me.


Anonymous Chris said...

The bf just got braces a few months ago. Sigh, nothing worse than a 42 year old whining baby. It's a daily update of exactly how each tooth is feeling and how much it's moved. And then the questions begin... did yours do this when you had braces, how long will they be on, are they adjusted correctly? I told him I'm not an orthodontist so how in the hell would I know?

5:11 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I'm tellin' you, men are babies...

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Cathy said...

Someone once said to me if men could have babies abortion would be a sacrament. I'm sure that is true, they are the WORST babies ever!!!!!

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Vikki said...

I remember getting my braces tightened and then getting hit right in the mouth with a volleyball. It's like it was yesterday...

My son has incredibly straight teeth and I hope they stay that way. My daughter, well, I can't look at her smile without thinking orthodontia.

9:26 AM  

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