Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Back Home

I've come to realize something very important. I have to slow down.

I have to find calm every day. I have to stop being so mad all the time about the injustices in the world.

I have no real sense of making a difference in the greater world. But I do know I make a difference in my own world.

With my kids.

As raising kids has done to me, over and over, I find myself with yet another challenge. I must settle in and find peace. I have to be vigilant with old wounds that keep popping up and rocking my own stability.

Over the years, I have spread myself fairly thin. I have a hard time saying no to someones request of my time and energy. In every request I see an opportunity to learn, to grow.

And it also takes away from my family.

We are not in crisis mode in the Cowen-Whitman household but close. My oldest son needs structure and calm, my middle son needs to be relieved of negotiation duties, and my youngest needs someone to still play Lego's with who doesn't tease him for being a 'baby.'

All of them need my full attention.

This political year, a historic year, has pulled me away too many times. I had a wake up call the other day, from the vice principal of the middle school.

I'm not going to stop writing- it is what keeps me sane- but to refocus. Parenting is the most important thing in the world to me. There are thousands of voices calling for the rights of LGBT people.

I am one of four on a team raising these boys.

I am turning this ship back home.

11 Comments:

Anonymous lez zorba said...

I support you! The ability to prioritize is key to building success. Here's to the team of four!

4:54 PM  
Blogger Suzy said...

but the fighting for political things is so much more relaxing and less stressful, you sure? Just kidding. They will be big and gone before you know it and then there will be plenty of time to fight. Home is the best place to be. Great now I said it they are going to start killing each other again.
love ya.
ttfn

5:55 PM  
Blogger Sue J said...

What is this "peace" of which you speak?

No, I too understand completely. I drove home tonight with no radio and the silence was beautiful. Why do I feel compelled to have the news blaring at me?

More importantly, will "The Team of Four" be out on video soon? Do you each have unique uniforms?

6:53 PM  
Blogger Seda said...

It's so true - the biggest difference you can make is right at home. There is nothing more important. Blessings!!!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

I have to be there for my sons too. My older one and his wife are coming for Thanksgiving and want a warm welcome and a hot turkey and companionship, and my younger one is coping with the fact that our dog (really his dog) is 18 and now swings between just barely getting around to not getting around and being unhappy. I'll be here for them.

I wish much joy for you and your family as, like us, you grow together this Thanksgiving season.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Ulla said...

Amen to that. I don't think you ever realize how lucky you are in that you are in control of your time. Were you forced to make a living, you couldn't even have this struggle with yourself - you'd be out working.

2:04 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

ah, Ulla, I can always count on you to keep me honest.

yes, I am incredibly fortunate that I do not have to work- I send my lovely bride out into the world to earn the big bucks.

and she does.

7:26 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

what, you with too many irons in the fire?! i can't believe it! LOL

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Were you forced to make a living, you couldn't even have this struggle with yourself - you'd be out working."

So true.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Ulla said...

Well, to tell the truth, my husband and I have made a similar choice. I work from home, part time, and try to be a good mother. At least I'm THERE. He earns a modest salary, and we live modestly. But I've taken a terrible loss in the stock market last month - a permanent loss, not just a loss of values, so right now I have to consider taking a job outside the house, and I hate the idea. Sigh. So I just wanted to tell you how lucky you are. Rejoice! :-)

2:43 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

ah, the market may just catch up to me soon, too.

4:15 PM  

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