Pondering the Question

I got really nervous the other day when I found out some people were reading my blog. Not just the possibility of Ben's classmate but also folks in organizations that I respect deeply.

Oh my.

I froze for a while. I didn't know what to say that would be articulate, bright, witty and not boring dull stuff like... my cats.

Mind you, today I have people working in the house. I locked the cats in the office with me. They were not happy.

I feared for my life.

Finally, after their howling, clawing at the doors, I let them out. They have to use the litter, I thought.

Immediately, they went to their food bowl. It had been a full hour, you know. They had almost starved to death.

Do I change my voice knowing specifically who is reading? I don't think I can. Some people disagree with me about the Mormon church. I appreciate that but I will not back off from calling for an end to protesting at their church steps.

I speak for myself and my views only on this blog. While I sit on a couple different boards, under no circumstance should my blog ever be seen as any of the organizations opinions or goals.

My kids know I write about them. I can't tell you how many times they ask, are you going to blog about that Mom?

Sometimes I do.

My goal is to make people understand we are all different, as my son Zachary eloquently put it the other day.

And we are all pretty much the same.

Finding a place of clarity is not easy for me. It may seem that way at times by the words I write. People send me emails, articles, and requests for stories to be posted.

I do my best to consider all sides ... except when I get mad. Then I tend to fire off a blazing response.

My readership has taken a big leap forward in recent months. I've tried to be respectful of that and not post something just to post something. I long ago gave up my every day, no matter what, posting. I come close but I have learned to be easy on myself when I simply cannot come up with something worthwhile.

My children are getting older. The thought that there are posts about them as young children trying to figure out which side their penis should rest in their pants may not be their first choice to have out in the world.

It does, however, make us human. Reachable as a family.

I ponder the questions over and over again. Should I do this? Does it put my family at risk? Does anyone even care? Should I stick only to politics? Only to family life? Should I simply write "fiction?"

My fiction is never really fiction, though.

I don't honestly know the answers. But I will keep asking them.

Mostly? I wanted to say thank you for reading. The new, and especially the old timers who have been here, checking in daily, seeing what's up, and reading.

Even if it is about the cats.

Thank you.