Thursday, January 07, 2010

No, I don't need a uniform for my falafel

Oh, sure, Morgan. You HAVE a uniform. I can see why it's not important to you.

I do so love a uniform. I'm sure it has something to do with deep seated issues with authority but I don't want to delve too deeply in it. I want to be able to smile when I see a woman in a crisp, fancy uniform.

Sometimes, perhaps, we need to not be such deep thinkers.

I spent a lot of time on vacation wondering about what I'm doing with my life. The kids kept teasing me that I have no job, and I am always on vacation. It stung. I thought maybe it would be better if I took a job somewhere, anywhere.

What am I doing with my life? What have I accomplished? Just a blogger, Zachary kept saying over and over. Not really a job, not something to take vacation from...

Ouch.

I sat on the beach and looked out to the waves for some kind of answer. Over and over, they simply crashed to the shore. Then Jake came, jumped on my shoulders and said, C'mon, Mom! Let's ride the waves!

That's it, I finally realized. It's not about having some great, defined answer. Not for me. Jeanine? She's on a track, wants a PhD, has specific goals for herself. I never have.

Except to be a good parent. A good partner and friend.

The goal is not to study from the beach, but to get in there and ride with my kids. Count three heads bobbing back up after a big, crashing twelve foot wave. I don't have all the answers as to why I am the way I am. I don't know that I ever will. But if I spend too much time thinking, I'll never live.

I do want a uniform with my falafel. I love a uniform. And riding big waves.

13 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

I've gone through the same thought-process my entire life. And really- I have no answers except that some of us are meant to go out and do big things and some of us are meant to do smaller things at home.
But wait- didn't you just go to the White House? You DO big things. AND the small ones that are just as important.
And you remember that. Okay?

9:50 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

oh yeah... that place.

10:57 AM  
Blogger weese said...

there is nothing small about what you are doing.
you are a team.
part of the team is to keep the home/house/fam running smoothly.
its a very important job.
(o..hi...new reader here :)

11:05 AM  
Blogger Sue J said...

mmmmm. Falafel .....

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Morgan said...

Honey, you do have a uniform. You just don't have to press it everyday.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

hey, weese! welcome!

pressing... hmmm... that must involve an iron.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous donald said...

yeah, i can see you ironing a uniform!!

welcome back to reality, missed you!

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any idea how credit crunch affected porn?

9:19 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

um, not really concerned about the porn industry.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Morgan said...

But they have some nice uniforms...

4:58 PM  
Blogger J said...

I had always thought I would hate it if I ever had to wear a uniform. I avoided signing up for or or onto anything that would require one. Then last year I deployed to Afghanistan (as a civilian but in my current capacity as an Army employee). I had to wear a uniform (an Army uniform). I LOVED it! I can't really explain why but I did. I took pride in making sure I wore it correctly (some civilians felt free to be sloppy in theirs) and actually thought I looked pretty good in it. And when I came home, I missed it. Still do. We're not authorized to wear them here. If we were, I definitely would.

5:39 PM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

I never stayed on the path. My favorite thing was "going to Loblaws the hard way." Different every time. Creeks, railroad tracks, back yards, alleys, all as fast as I could go.

Careers and paths are what happen when you lose track of living,

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

7:26 AM  

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