Thursday, December 30, 2010


Jake asked to be tucked in last night. He doesn't ask to be tucked in anymore. Jeanine went in and then I went in a little later.

What's up?

Nothin', his legs twitched.

You thinking about Aunt Cathy?


He stayed quiet a long time. I rubbed his back. Waited.

I'm trying to remember her happy. Like this summer.

She was happy this summer, I said.

He was quiet again. I stayed and rubbed his back for a long time. He fell asleep finally. I sat and watched him breathe. Still so little.

Grief shatters and first you pick up the big pieces. Then you sweep up the fine dust, seemingly small, surprised by how easily you still bleed.


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

It's so hard. But he is learning about life the way it truly is and we all have to. He has his mothers to rub his back, to remind him of good times.

9:26 AM  
Blogger weese said...

its funny - since my mom got sick and passed we have noticed a difference in our son too. he seems to be around more. he is definetly more cuddly--kisses hello and goodbye are now standards once again. he is 22. but they are always our little boys. and they feel things so big inside.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Terry Joy said...

I am new to the blog scene but reading about you and your sister and sending is hard and kids get in the mix. I second what Ms. Moon said...he has his mothers to rub his back, to remind him of good times.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

in the end, jake will always remember the good times with aunt cathy, and there were so many good times!

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Jake needs some support while at school tell him to seek out Donovan. He lost his grandmother (who was very involved in every aspect of his life) at the beginning of the school year. It hasn't been easy for him either, but a mutual understanding can go a long way to help one get through the day.

4:55 PM  

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