P.S.

I love writing PS’s. I don’t know why but I do.

I know there is no easy solution. I do love Jeanine. She does love me. We, at times, are great together. I want more than once a month. Or when it fits into her schedule.

Or when she’s scared of losing me.

I don’t want to be pushed out on the edge, to a place of being empty, lonely and miserable.

I also want to say, I wrote what I did last night because anyone out there who is struggling in a marriage, I believe, can relate to the holiday drama. It’s not easy to be fighting on a day about love and family and togetherness. It’s not easy to be in a room full of people who don’t know how angry you’ve been with each other.

Hi, haven’t seen you in two years but we’re going to take this time to spit fire at each other.

Who wants to be a jerk and mope in the corner?

It wasn’t about putting on a face, either. We do love each other. It was more about having a cease-fire. Coming out of our trenches and sharing turkey in no mans land.

For a moment, we relaxed and had fun.

We still have so far to go.