Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Like Mother, Like Son

Children never want to think they are like their parents. I know I don’t. The reality, however, is often different. While I have come to accept that I am a great deal like my mother- for better and for worse- my son Ben at 13 is not anywhere near ready to accept it.

But oh my, we are very similar.

Case in point, last night we went to the Rainforest Café. Zachary had to do a restaurant review for his class and he chose the apex of dining experiences for an 11 year old. Not only is it a restaurant that chirps, rains, flashes, and roars, it is in a mall.

As Ben and I sat at the table, having been abandoned by Zachary and Jake who set off to find the bathroom, I noticed a very beautiful little nine month or so baby.

Oh, no, Ben said. Mom… don’t.

I always have to ooo and ahhh over babies. I always make faces and clap and smile. Can’t help myself. I love babies.

I noticed the baby was not looking at me but looking at Ben.

Hey, the baby is more interested in you, I said.

And what did that boy do? Smile, make faces and laugh. Ben. Not the baby. Well, the baby laughed, too.

I didn’t say a word.

Ben recently had to apply to a private school- no he did not want to but we were trying to keep all our options open for him- and in doing so he had to write an essay about a person who has had the most influence on him.

This is what he wrote:

One person that has influenced me in a significant way is my mom. My mom has always been there for me when I’ve needed her and have not needed her. One way my mom has influenced me is to try your best. I’ve accomplished stuff that I never thought I could do like getting an A+ on a math test. Another way my mom has influenced me is to trust your heart. When I’ve had hard decisions to make I’ve trusted my heart. A friend won’t always be there for you but your mom will.”


Recently, in the middle of an argument, he said to me, You just think I’m going to follow in your footsteps!

He did not mean in a positive way.

It was an odd statement at the time. I looked at him and said, You have no idea what my footsteps were…

He doesn’t. I’d like to keep it that way. At least until he’s an adult. I mean, I didn’t find out that my mother almost didn’t graduation from college because she was caught skinny dipping in some random pool the night before the ceremony until I was 25.

I don’t know if he will but I do realize we share much in common. As a parent, my never ending task is to keep my stuff separate from his, not let my fears of my choices shadow his own individuality.

He’s a good kid. I mean, he makes faces at babies… how many 13 year old boys will do that?


Anonymous donald said...

yeap, he is just like you! hard headed and all!!

are you sure you were the mom he was talking about?? LOL

5:12 PM  
Blogger openworm said...

hey awesome post... really cute!!
i think its so true.. i feel were all like little images of our parents... =)

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Ian O said...

The baby thing happens to my mom and I all the time.

I make funny faces at them too.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

I think that every mother should keep the big secrets until their kids are adults. It's kind of like a "welcome to the club" present for the kids!

It sounds like you are raising three beautiful, intelligent, sensitive gentlemen. For that, you should be incredibly proud!

11:53 PM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

An old friend of mine, Kim Fellner, said my son Patrick was pedantic just like me. He was 5 at the time. It's true. He was. And still is. I keep telling him when we talk that he should relax and enjoy life and other people more, even though he's already ahead of me in that.

You're doing a pretty good job, mom.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Monty said...

If the haters could only see.

I find that the older I get the more like my parents I become. At times this scares the bejesus out of me. And others this doesn't.

As we get older we find ourselves becoming who we want to be with our parents thrown in for good measure.

You should be proud of your boys.

O one more thing.
How did your escape to Maine go?

Be Well

10:19 AM  
Blogger Suzy said...

yea I get the rolling eyes from my kids. But I cant resist a baby and most moms are happy to talk to you about there little ones. Ask Ian about making the baby cry lol. ttfn

5:22 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

yes, maine was wonderful, thank you!

I ahve never made a baby cry, Ian... ahem.

7:15 PM  
Anonymous Ian O said...

Oi! Neither have I! I made the baby smile, then when I went to the next aisle, it started bawling.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Suzy said...

which counts as making the baby cry lol.

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looking for a great present for your mother, thomas sabo charms the woman who gave birth to you, raised you, and was there for you every step of the way? What can you give her that she would love, and at the same time would cheap thomas sabo charms remind her of you, and her grandchildren?Give Mom personalized jewelry - personalized jewelry thomas sabo charm is a great gift for a Mother and it could be personalized with different things, thomas charms such as a names, initials, birthstones and many other things. The best thing about it is that it can be personalized with Mother's name, or names and initials thomas sabo charms uk of her kids and grandkids. This will make the piece of jewelry one of a kind, and your Mom will know sabo charms that you picked the gift just for her.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Place one matted light pandora Jewelry left of the area for jewellery, and one to the right. pandora sale Place reflector light near where the camera is. Whatever you do, avoid mixing light types. pandora charms Use only non-fluorescent lights, and isolate your photo 'lab' away from natural light. pandora bracelets To have freedom with many settings that will be a must, we will have to use longer exposures. For longer exposures to pandora bracelet achieve maximum sharpness, we'll need a tripod. pandora bracelets sale Our hand shakes too much, when camera runs at exposition Buy a 'tripod' for You don't need a heavy duty tripod. pandora bangles If your setup will be on a desk, you can chose mini tripod - approx and stand tripod on the pandora necklaces desk as well, or longer tripod, approxand stand it on the floor. pandora beads Two desk lamps with soft light irrelevant if you are using photo tent -- the tent is there to soften the light and reflector light at the front. pandora earrings I keep the cube open at the front, for easier adjustments and photographs, unless jewellery is highly reflective of the image of me taking photograph. Uniform background colour is recommended. White background works great.

10:42 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home