Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Like Mother, Like Son

Children never want to think they are like their parents. I know I don’t. The reality, however, is often different. While I have come to accept that I am a great deal like my mother- for better and for worse- my son Ben at 13 is not anywhere near ready to accept it.

But oh my, we are very similar.

Case in point, last night we went to the Rainforest Café. Zachary had to do a restaurant review for his class and he chose the apex of dining experiences for an 11 year old. Not only is it a restaurant that chirps, rains, flashes, and roars, it is in a mall.

As Ben and I sat at the table, having been abandoned by Zachary and Jake who set off to find the bathroom, I noticed a very beautiful little nine month or so baby.

Oh, no, Ben said. Mom… don’t.

I always have to ooo and ahhh over babies. I always make faces and clap and smile. Can’t help myself. I love babies.

I noticed the baby was not looking at me but looking at Ben.

Hey, the baby is more interested in you, I said.

And what did that boy do? Smile, make faces and laugh. Ben. Not the baby. Well, the baby laughed, too.

I didn’t say a word.

Ben recently had to apply to a private school- no he did not want to but we were trying to keep all our options open for him- and in doing so he had to write an essay about a person who has had the most influence on him.

This is what he wrote:

One person that has influenced me in a significant way is my mom. My mom has always been there for me when I’ve needed her and have not needed her. One way my mom has influenced me is to try your best. I’ve accomplished stuff that I never thought I could do like getting an A+ on a math test. Another way my mom has influenced me is to trust your heart. When I’ve had hard decisions to make I’ve trusted my heart. A friend won’t always be there for you but your mom will.”

Wow.

Recently, in the middle of an argument, he said to me, You just think I’m going to follow in your footsteps!

He did not mean in a positive way.

It was an odd statement at the time. I looked at him and said, You have no idea what my footsteps were…

He doesn’t. I’d like to keep it that way. At least until he’s an adult. I mean, I didn’t find out that my mother almost didn’t graduation from college because she was caught skinny dipping in some random pool the night before the ceremony until I was 25.

I don’t know if he will but I do realize we share much in common. As a parent, my never ending task is to keep my stuff separate from his, not let my fears of my choices shadow his own individuality.

He’s a good kid. I mean, he makes faces at babies… how many 13 year old boys will do that?

12 Comments:

Anonymous donald said...

yeap, he is just like you! hard headed and all!!

are you sure you were the mom he was talking about?? LOL

5:12 PM  
Blogger openworm said...

hey awesome post... really cute!!
i think its so true.. i feel were all like little images of our parents... =)

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Ian O said...

The baby thing happens to my mom and I all the time.

I make funny faces at them too.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

I think that every mother should keep the big secrets until their kids are adults. It's kind of like a "welcome to the club" present for the kids!

It sounds like you are raising three beautiful, intelligent, sensitive gentlemen. For that, you should be incredibly proud!

11:53 PM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

An old friend of mine, Kim Fellner, said my son Patrick was pedantic just like me. He was 5 at the time. It's true. He was. And still is. I keep telling him when we talk that he should relax and enjoy life and other people more, even though he's already ahead of me in that.

You're doing a pretty good job, mom.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Monty said...

If the haters could only see.

I find that the older I get the more like my parents I become. At times this scares the bejesus out of me. And others this doesn't.

As we get older we find ourselves becoming who we want to be with our parents thrown in for good measure.

You should be proud of your boys.

O one more thing.
How did your escape to Maine go?

Be Well

10:19 AM  
Blogger Suzy said...

yea I get the rolling eyes from my kids. But I cant resist a baby and most moms are happy to talk to you about there little ones. Ask Ian about making the baby cry lol. ttfn

5:22 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

yes, maine was wonderful, thank you!

I ahve never made a baby cry, Ian... ahem.

7:15 PM  
Anonymous Ian O said...

Oi! Neither have I! I made the baby smile, then when I went to the next aisle, it started bawling.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Suzy said...

which counts as making the baby cry lol.

7:51 PM  
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10:42 PM  

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