Thursday, July 23, 2009

Next Stage? Major Surgery

It's hard to write this tonight. I'd rather tell a funny story about how I came in the door and Ben was cooking- trying to pan sear a chicken breast. The effort was excellent but the breast was half frozen, the pan too hot and he fessed up to tossing the first batch of olive oil out the back door "cuz it was bubbling a LOT."

Smoke was in the air, nothing lethal, and he had created a dinner of chicken, whole wheat pasta and a teeny tiny salad.

I was very proud of him.

He was cooking because I was out at the doctor's all day with my sister. Jeanine had offered to have him make the frozen pizza or chicken nuggets- he's the one who took the harder route.

He's being very grown up lately. I know he feels the stress.

My sister... a friend commented on Bilerico that I should hold tight to the fact she really may get better. Not only do I hold that, I believe that. We have some road to go through first.

The surgeon we met with today was wonderful. I think he might have been twelve years old but... regardless, he was wonderful. He showed up the MRI images- my sister's spleen is more than a football. It goes from up in her rib cage to down in her pelvis. It's in almost every part of her abdominal cavity.

A normal spleen is 11 centimeters in length.

She's looking at major surgery.

In the meantime, a very good friend of hers- I would say one of her only friends- has come to stay with her. Spiritual, kind, she told me she was going to do some Reiki on my sister tonight.

We moved my sister into a short term rental apartment- so close to Fenway Park, she can see in the stadium from the roof. Too bad she doesn't like sports. It's also less than a mile from the hospital.

I feel guilty, on one hand. I feel like I couldn't take care of her well enough here, there were too many stairs, too much going on... stuff I couldn't change. Stuff I could.

Did I make her feel comfortable enough or did she see me roll my eyes about the special chocolate creamer? Was she afraid to ask for something else because my tone was short- the kids were killing each other in the back yard and I simply didn't have time for the long request?

Could I have done more? I'm such a hard person at times. Strict with my kids, quick with an order... was I kind enough? Did she need to leave to feel safer in the hands of 911?

Did she realize how tired I was?

Tomorrow is her birthday. One of the hardest things for me is that she has so few people in her life that love her simply for who she is. We will ascend with chocolate cake, candles, pizza... sing happy birthday and the boys will all spit all over the cake to blow out the candles for her.

Walter, Allan, Jeanine and I, the friend from home, the kids... we'll stay a while, careful not to exhaust her too much.

Did I mention the manfriend from Georgia called her? Oh yeah. Looking for her to apologize? Or perhaps just the meal ticket but it was gone.

Don't get me started.

I feel like I've exhausted this topic. I should just shut up and write about the horror of what Prof. Gates went through- because that was a horror show. It makes me sick to live here right now.

I don't have the energy. I wish I did.

Next stage? Major surgery.

10 Comments:

Blogger dionne said...

I hope that your sister will have a fast recovery after surgery.
I admire you and jeanine..

2:14 AM  
Anonymous donald said...

hang in there, things can only get better! give my birthday greetings to cathy and let her know that i am praying for successful surgery and a speedy recovery. glad to hear ben is willing to pick up the pans and try to make something other than pizza or chicken nuggets, a real chip off the old block. sending and thinking only happy thoughts on this rainy dreary day in maine!

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ben's growing up! hope the surgery goes well for your seester.

and well, gates, just lost control. probably got more of a raw deal though. if that was me, i would have thanked the police for coming, let them know it's not a break -in, this is my house and this my name. adn oh, here's my ID and thanks for watching out. done deal.

the dude was uncooperative. unfortunately, being black, made it worse. i'm thinking split guilt here. 80%-20% gates.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Suzy said...

love and happy birthday to cathy.

And stop second guessing yourself you did the hard part getting her out of that hell hole now let others help with taking care of her.
I have a friend that does reki also and some people respond very well to it I hope it helps ease some of cathys discomfort.

Hugs and kisses to all just wish we could do more.....

8:09 AM  
Blogger Rev. Bob said...

Belated happy birthday to Cathy.

Fingers crossed.

Wrt Gates, Pam Spaulding had a great analysis: in a contest between professorial privilege and Black deprivilege, race trumps status.

I've been worried about the kids, especially Zachary. Camp can do wonders. Let's hope it does.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Kori said...

So much of your history I don't know, being a new reader, but your honesty is amazing. As usual, I have no words, but-will be thinking of all of you.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

I haven't been able to do much since I got sick. My favorite way to start every morning was reading this blog, especially when it was funny stories about my nephews that I missed so much.

But then I got sick, couldn't concentrate, and these stories just made me so sad that I knew I had to stop reading.

But to hear that my most wonderful Seester thinks she didn't do enough, dropped the ball during stress, so to say, breaks my heart.

I would be dead right now if it wasn't for her and she sees herself as not giving enough, when all I see is someone who has given me everyday every part of her and more. She is the most amazing person in my life, I am so lucky:)

Thank you my Seester, I love you!!

12:16 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

I haven't been able to do much since I got sick. My favorite way to start every morning was reading this blog, especially when it was funny stories about my nephews that I missed so much.

But then I got sick, couldn't concentrate, and these stories just made me so sad that I knew I had to stop reading.

But to hear that my most wonderful Seester thinks she didn't do enough, dropped the ball during stress, so to say, breaks my heart.

I would be dead right now if it wasn't for her and she sees herself as not giving enough, when all I see is someone who has given me everyday every part of her and more. She is the most amazing person in my life, I am so lucky:)

Thank you my Seester, I love you!!

12:22 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

I haven't been able to do much since I got sick. My favorite way to start every morning was reading this blog, especially when it was funny stories about the kids that I missed so much.

But then I got sick, couldn't concentrate, and these stories just made me so sad that I knew I had to stop reading.

But to hear that my most wonderful Seester thinks she didn't do enough, dropped the ball during stress, so to say, breaks my heart.

I would be dead right now if it wasn't for her and she sees herself as not giving enough, when all I see is someone who has given me everyday every part of her and more. She is the most amazing person in my life, I am so lucky:)

Thank you my Seester, I love you!!

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice post. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys hear that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.
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5:47 AM  

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