Lawrence King Deserved To Die

While the defense lawyer in the Lawrence King shooting decided to take the most disgusting route possible- it was in fact, Larry’s fault for being open about himself and the school’s efforts to support him that got him killed.

I’m not surprised but it makes me sick.

The defense attorney, William Quest, said, “administrators were so intent on nurturing King as he explored his sexuality, allowing him to come to school wearing feminine makeup and accessories, that they downplayed the turmoil that his behavior was causing on campus.”

So when a group of people decides to pick on a single person- who did have the constitutional right, “under long-established case law,”to dress the way he did- it is the single person’s responsibility to change?

Silly me, I would have thought it was a teachable moment. An opportunity to learn. I know, crazy to think that might happen in a school.

What if Larry was Black and decided to wear afro-centric clothes in a racist town. Would it be up to him to change? Would we excuse his killer because, well, he should have known better than to do that? Or would we be outraged by the senseless killing of someone simply because they were different.

Lawrence King had the constitutional right to be dressed the way he chose to be dressed. Brandon McInerney had no constitutional right to bring a gun into school and deal with his “discomfort” over King.

In the meantime, at Brewster High School, Michael Loscalzo has begun to wear women’s clothes to school. He has been in therapy and is in the process of making the decision to transition to being a woman.

“Brewster Schools Superintendent Jane Sandbank reiterated that the district stresses respect and tolerance of all people.

"The school has been supportive of Michael and helping him work through his issues," Sandbank said. "Undergoing a sex change is a major choice for a young man to make. We would hope that the school would give appropriate guidance and ensure that he's not ridiculed or bullied."

Some of Loscalzo’s peers have been supportive. Some have not. Some organized an “Equality Protest.” Some have called him a freak.

I’m proud of Loscalzo, I’m proud of his mother who is scared but supports him, and I’m proud of his friends who rallied around him. He may transition and he may not. Sandbank is right. It is about tolerance and respect.

And I’m terrified the very tolerance and respect deserved may also get him killed.

Like Lawrence King.

Will we be blamed, again, for being out and proud? Because that’s what it boils down to, being unashamed and out of the closet. I don’t care if you are uncomfortable with my life. I will talk to you, try to inform you, share my experience so you can have a better understanding but if you don’t like it still? You have no right to shoot me.

Your fear is not an acceptable reason to shoot me.

Defense attorney Quark was right about one thing. There were rising tensions between the two boys. King had been bullied for a long time.

The crime was when McInerney’s when he pulled the trigger. He’s a kid. He believed it was okay to kill someone. He needs help. Quark’s defense only reinforces the belief that it’s okay to kill someone who is different.

It only says, Lawrence King deserved to die.

Just Be Angry

The school my son attends could not get it together to put out a notice to inform parents that he would be participating in a Day of Silence. He is sitting in his class today, with his sign on his chest, proud. Confident.

And a young lesbian woman was shot and killed in Florida.

“Another black gay youth has been gunned down in Fort Lauderdale. Shanesa Conaway, 22, was shot to death on April 26 during a domestic dispute between her partner, Shameca Davis and Kevin Cartwright, the father of Davis' two children.

Conaway and Davis had a commitment ceremony on Valentines this year and had been raising Davis's two children together. Witnesses and family members say that one of the big issues Cartwright had with Davis was her relationship with Conaway. Police are not investigating this as a hate crime, however, but as a domestic dispute.”

I wonder, did the school administration ever stop to think they teach about the civil rights movement of the sixties? Without a second thought, images of Blacks being bitten by dogs and hosed down by police are open for discussion. Do they not realize they teach, openly and passionately, about Martin Luther King, Jr., who was shot to death? A victim of a hate crime, the kind of hate crime my son Zachary is protesting today?

They can’t really say it’s ‘scary’ to talk about LGBT victims of crime. They teach about violence and war as a part of the approved curriculum. You know, the American Revolution, the Civil War… is that violence acceptable because it’s perceived as heterosexual?

No, the reality is anything LGBT is suddenly only about sexual behavior. Not a civil rights movement but sex. Not a human agenda but a sexual one.

They are wrong. It is about how we are treat each other as individuals. It is about bullying, name calling, and exclusion, all very real issues to kids. Tell Lawrence King LGBT hate didn’t come to school and shoot him in the head during first period English class.

And yes, I'm angry. I'm tired of being treated like a second class citizen. I'm tired of being the good little lesbian who comes into the school and doesn't ask for inclusive books to be added to the classroom, doesn't push the agenda to include LGBT issues, who waits to have permission slips sent home so no one is offended by my legally sanctioned relationship. I don't rock any boats so my children won't be isolated as the ones with the trouble-making parents.

My son is in school today, doing his protest. He is only ten. He doesn’t understand all the nuances, he certainly doesn’t understand why mentioning a movement that affects his parents requires a permission slip.

Shanesa Conaway is dead. Her partner Shameca Davis is recovering in the hospital from her gunshot wounds. Please don’t be surprised that not a single mainstream paper has written about this.

Just be angry.

Zachary's Day of Silence

The Day of Silence has begun. At this point, I think he's enjoying annoying his brothers.

I will not be talking to the class. Even though this was requested weeks ago, nothing was sent out, no permission slips done so Zachary is on his own. I'm angry that I cannot go stand with him and explain but I also think the best voice for this is his own.

Or his own silence.

The teachers will have to explain- or not. I asked Zachary why he was doing this last night as I tucked him in to bed.

He said, For all the gay and lesbian people who were killed just because they were gay or lesbian. It's just like what used to happen to Black people. They were treated different just because they were Black. It's stupid.

Ah, the wisdom of a ten year old. It is stupid.

I emailed the principal, the teachers, to explain I would not ask him to wait another week. He's ten after all. His enthusiasm should be applauded not put on hold for paperwork.

He would not have to have a permission slip to do a protest about the war. Or to explain his participating in the Walk for Hunger. In fact, the only thing that requires a permission slip is talking about gay people.

Right now, he's hunched over a book- The Big Nap- wearing his favorite New England Patriots Jersey, mismatching shorts, and a pair of slip on Vans. He has a sticker on his chest that reads:

DAY of SILENCE

Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence (DOS), a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by lesbian and gay people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by bullying, name-calling and harassment.

I believe the ending the silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment to address these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today.

What are you doing to do to end the Silence?

I know what Zachary is doing.

Update on Day of Silence

I spoke with the teachers and they are very excited to have Zachary do this and want me to come in and explain to the class what Zachary is doing and why. They asked that Zachary wait till the Friday following vacation week so parental notification fliers can be sent out.

The reality even in as progressive a school district as Newton, MA, is that one of the only things that require notification is discussion of gay families.

I said I'd ask Zachary. The national day falls on a day when they are all on vacation. Could he wait until the week after?

He agreed. I explained that I would come in and talk to his class. He nodded seriously, Sounds good.

I'm watching my son who was so shy at one point, he didn't say a word when his bus driver didn't stop at his house and drove him to the depot, parked and left without checking the seats. A boy we held back from starting kindergarten because he wouldn't ask a teacher out loud for more snack or raise his hand during morning circle. A boy who would hide behind me when relatives came to visit, taking so long to speak up his older cousin would ask, Where's the little one?

A silent protest fits him well.

Proud? More than proud.

Tucker, it seems, Does Exist

I cannot be sure, still, but I have read that the producers from Ellen have been in touch with Tucker and are going to have him on the program.

Read. Doesn't mean anything until the producers from Ellen... uh... produce him.

There is a post from Elizabeth, from Oklahoma City, on the local news stations comments.

I am cautiously hopeful that Tucker exists.

A Letter From Tucker

I recieved this today from an activist in Florida, of all places. I cannot verify that Tucker actually exists- I will try to today- but even if he doesn't, this note could be sent not only to Rep. Kern, but to every elected official in the United States who uses their position and power to spread hate.

And all in the name of Christianity.


A letter to Sally Kern from a senior in high school in Oklahoma.
*******

Today my nephew attempted to deliver a letter to Sally Kern but
was stopped by a highway patrol man. With his permission I am
distributing the letter to all news stations and thought I would
include it here.

Maybe we can all stand to learn a listen from this smart, loving,
young man. He more than most has reason to hate. He lost his
mother, my sister, in the Murrah Building bombing.

Elizabeth

*****

Letter From Tucker

Rep Kern:
On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb
that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day.
Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would've
likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were
injured that day and many of those still suffer through their
permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in
Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a
body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn't live up
to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be
explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the
homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly
tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure
there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved
one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind
of doubt you'll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a
beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your
harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you
told me that my mother's killer was a better person than a group
of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to
you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly
express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they've
been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were
you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with
Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been
around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of
rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I've spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have
I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen,
however, many gay students beat up and there's never a day in
school that has went by when I haven't heard the word **** slung
at someone. I've been called gay slurs many times and they hurt
and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person
feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things
too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of
your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every
openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk
together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They've
already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other
students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them
names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young
people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you
assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously
think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home
bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could've met my mom. Maybe she could've guided you in
how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if
there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and
tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be
here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she
won't be there. So I'll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma
to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no
intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like
you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more
people again. I don't want to be here for that. I just can't go
through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you
something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your
bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me.
Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause
others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.

Sincerely

Tucker

Gay Teen Killed

A fifteen year old boy was shot at school yesterday. He died later last night.

He was openly gay. Routinely teased, threatened and abused.

This time, one of the other boys made good on his threats. First period English class.

I can remember knowing I was a lesbian when I was 15 years old. Afraid, ashamed, I kept the secret and told only one friend. I thought my mother would disown me (she did when first hearing it), my friends would hate me (some did, some didn't), and that I would be alone for the rest of my life.

I never thought anyone would shoot me.

Not when I was 15.