Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness- For All

Wake up America! A huge battle for rights is about to be voted on in Maine. This will effect everyone from sea to shining sea.

Just like in California in 2008, rights that have already been granted will be voted on. Everyone was shocked when California lost marriage equality- do you know that the same thing could happen in Maine on November 3rd?

Are you ready to do something about it?

The level of outrage across the country was small solace to the thousands of California residents that had their marriage rights, and in some cases their actual marriage, taken away from them. Maine already has a law on the books that allows same sex couples to marry- and religious groups who do not agree, the right not to perform those ceremonies.

It's fair. It's about the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Church and state are separate, as is dictated by our constitution.

I'm married. I'm a lesbian. I have three children. I pay taxes, coach my son's soccer team, go to the grocery store and generally live a pretty quiet life. And I'm really sick of having to say that. My kids all went to public elementary schools in Massachusetts and never once were taught about gay marriage or ANY marriage in school.

Ever.

It is exhausting to have to deal with some religious group's determination to have their beliefs be the guideline for law. I don't care what they believe, I simply want them to leave me alone. I want the right to leave my wife my property, the right to visit her in the hospital, the right to have our children's parents legally recognized.

I'm not going to their church. Why do they want to shove their values down my throat? And why one church and not another? We look at Middle Eastern countries run by Islamic law and think, bad bad bad. But it's okay for the Catholic church to decide what is ok and not ok to have as a law?

Did I mention that no church would be forced to perform these ceremonies? As if I'd want one who thinks I'm going to hell to recognize my lifetime commitment to my wife. Have an ounce of common sense, please.

Are you all listening? Are you all aware that this is a state vote with national ramifications? Because I know the other side is pouring in money from all over the country to try and take rights away.

Take rights away. My rights. I'm not taking away their rights. I have no interest. I believe in free speech and the separation of church and state. Raise your kids to think God hates fags. I'm going to raise mine to believe you have the right to free speech.

I love Maine. I believe in the people of Maine. But the hateful lies being sent out by the folks who would strip away rights have been packaged in tidy little ads that do not require any truth. Save the little, doe-eyed girl from evil homosexuals. Such bullshit.

We are families. We will continue to have children, be active in government, work at jobs, pay our taxes. We'll be in the grocery store telling our kids no to the sugar-filled cereal just like everyone else. We will go to church- the ones that welcome us- and watch football on Sunday afternoons.

Unless they want to take away those rights, too.

And ask yourself, what's next? What right will they deem unacceptable in their view for LGBT people to have- already we cannot serve in the military openly, we cannot marry, we can be fired from jobs, denied housing. Maybe they'll take away our right to vote.

Wake up, America. The world changes, and women are no longer property, African-Americans no longer slaves, and the goal of equality isn't about taking things away. It's about the constitution recognizing everyone.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

For all.

Do something about it. Don't wait until it's too late.

11 Year Old Kills Himself After Gay Taunts Left Unaddressed

An eleven-year-old boy hung himself in Springfield, MA yesterday. He had been repeatedly taunted as "gay" even though he did not identify as such. His mother went to the school over and over again, trying to get something done.

Nothing happened.

So for all those right wing nuts who insist we are teaching all sorts of positive gay messages in our school, fuck you. You caused this kids death. You and your bullshit rhetoric.

I wish we were teaching more positive images of LGBT people because then "faggot" and "queer" wouldn't hurt so much. I wish that boy had an advocate in the school who listened to his mother. Who did something.

I'm angry. How can this happen today? Why did that mother have to lose her son? Why was that boy not taken care of by the school officials?

It reminds me of when my son Zachary wanted to do the day of silence in his class. He wanted me to go in and explain. I was told no, it's too scary to talk about Lawrence King. It's too... much. A permission slip would have to go out to the parents. We can't talk that way without permission.

Which of course meant it was sexual in nature, even though it was not. This crime is not gay only. This crime- and it was a crime the way the issue was handled- was about bullying. Teasing. Mean, hateful words.

I'm beyond angry. This is something that could have been prevented. I have an eleven year old son. He wanted to recognize the day of silence. He understood how words can hurt.

He's not gay.

And when we all wonder if marriage equality is the end all and be all of the movement? Think again. In the first state in the nation to accept equal marriage rights, kids are still taunted. Humiliated.

"Two of the top three reasons students said their peers were most often bullied at school were actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression, according to From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America, a 2005 report by GLSEN and Harris Interactive. The top reason was physical appearance."

Carl would have turned 12 on April 17th, the national day of silence in schools. The irony turns in my gut. I must do more. How can I as an advocate, as an activist look his mother in the eye and say I'm sorry? We're trying to push for welcoming, safe schools but haven't made it there yet?

We still need permission slips to talk about how it's not okay to call someone a dyke. lezzy. How the words cut like knives, and the targets aren't just LGBT kids, but all kids.

An eleven-year-old boy is dead today because no one in the school did a thing to help him. They should be ashamed- and they should go to jail for it.

And on Monday, I am going to the funeral. I will promise the mother that until the day I die, I am going to fight for comprehensive anti-bullying policies in schools. Because I'm a lesbian, because I've been on the other side of the taunts but mostly because I am a mother.

We must end the violence.

"GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, recommends four approaches that schools can begin implementing now to address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.

# Adopt a comprehensive anti-bullying policy that enumerates categories such as race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation and gender expression/identity. Enumeration is crucial to ensure that anti-bullying policies are effective for LGBT students. Policies without enumeration are no more effective than having no policy at all when it comes to anti-LGBT bullying and harassment, according to GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey.

# Require staff trainings to enable school staff to identify and address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment effectively and in a timely manner.

# Support student efforts to address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment on campus, such as the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance or participation in the National Day of Silence on April 25.

# Institute age-appropriate, inclusive curricula to help students understand and respect difference within the school community and society as a whole."

It's not that hard. It's not about sex. It's about dignity. And clearly, about saving kids lives.

A Bright, Shining Light

Today, the Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) filed a suit in federal court in Boston, MA to challenge the denial of critical federal benefits to same-sex couples.

Yes. It's time for the Supreme Court.

Years ago, when GLAD was pulling together a group of plaintiffs to challenge the marriage laws in Massachusetts, many said it was not time. Many said, we are still lacking in basic rights- how can we go for marriage? It'll put us behind by decades.

Today, we are approaching the fifth anniversary of marriage equality in our state. We have recently had an unprecedented majority of House and Senate co-signers for a Transgender equality bill and look to celebrate it's passage later this year. We have secured dollars in a difficult state budget for LGBT youth, AIDS funding, and money to address issues facing LGBT seniors.

We have pushed the envelope, no question. And we will continue to.

The lawsuit addresses Section 3 of the federal Defense of Marriage Act- and only section three. It targets the rights and protections denied in Social Security, federal income tax, federal employees' and retirees' benefits, and in the issuance of passports.

Only in MA and CT, where marriage is recognized by the state. For over 200 years, the federal government has not interfered with state's rights around marriage- until DOMA.

I find in my travels, that people assume that being married in MA means married on a federal level. It does not.

This action does not effect any other state. It will not repeal DOMA or every state's right to have some ridiculous anti-equality law on their books, as many do. It does, however, put a bright, shining light on the inequalities our families face even in the state where we have so much.

Shining that light, as Mary Bonauto said, should generate support in all the states. When the country gets to know the plaintiff couples, when they meet the State Trooper, Mary Ritchie who puts her life on the line every day for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Her wife is not eligible for the full line-of-duty benefits for surviving spouses should she die in the line of duty. Or Herbert Burtis, 78 years old who lost his partner of 60 years last fall. He is denied the additional money his husband's social security would pay him if he was a recognized spouse.

After 60 years together, sharing lives, income, a home... nothing. But the married heterosexual couple in MA or CT- no questions asked.

These stories, this case, is about that bright, shining light. It is about understanding why we fight for equality every day. It's about why we need to continue the fight on all levels, in every state.

Years ago, people thought the marriage fight was wrong. Today, we have two states with marriage equality, and are fast approaching many more to have the same decency and fairness for all their citizen. Some states are still fighting to have civil rights bills.

The movement forward is never easy. As we enjoy these debates in this country, people are hung in others for the suspicion of being homosexual. Should we stop our rights to further theirs first?

Or do we all keep moving, the best we can, with the resources we have, to tell the stories that will ultimately make the difference for all.

I say, move forward.

And with Mary Bonauto in charge? We're not going to lose.

No one will lose.

They are Marching in the Streets

I asked for this and it's happened.

In San Francisco, in West Hollywood, in Los Angeles and soon in San Diego, night after night, they have been marching.

Thousands of people holding their No on 8 Signs, politicians, activists have taken to the microphones and made speeches vowing to fight, and fight and fight until we take back the constitution and eliminate discrimination.

Yesterday, they stopped issuing marriage licenses for same sex couples.

In turn? We took to the streets. Marching, shouting, listening to speeches, filling public spaces with our anguish.

Our despair at being treated like garbage for too long. For the hate crimes, for the job discrimination, for the loss of housing- all because of who we love. Gay, straight, Trans, bisexual, Black, White, Asian, Latino, old, poor, young- because half the people voted with us and half the people are all those things.

It is not a time to point fingers at other minorities. It is time to reach out and ask for their help. Because we are their long lost sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers.

And they are us. They face the same uphill battle. The same loss of rights and hate crimes. Those invested in keeping LGBT people out are invested in keeping all of us out.

A friend of mine is still out there. I'm not sure he'll come back. He's young, single and the moment in history is now. I believe he will stay to be a part of it. I'm proud of him.

We have finally come back to our roots- protests. Peaceful protests.

With thousands in the streets.

We will win because in this country, everyone values equality.

What Can I Do?

I've read some armchair evaluations of the No on 8 efforts. I have to admit, it hurts too much to read the criticisms of the campaign.

Was it perfect? No. Even if we won it was not perfect. No campaign ever is. But everyone worked so hard to make it happen. To quickly type off statements that include how much better it could have been done it feels disrespectful to all the volunteers and staff who only wanted to do the right thing- always.

While the rest of the country celebrated a great win for Obama- sweeping, commanding mandate for change- I can't help but feel completely kicked to the curb. My rights? Not so important.

I am deeply grateful for the efforts to get Obama elected. I can breathe now that our supreme court will be fair. that women's reproductive rights are safe. the war, education, health care... the list is long.

But I am hurt.

And angry.

So before anyone writes to opine about how it shoulda, coulda, woulda- which I do believe we need to do in order to learn from the mistakes which will only help other states in similar efforts- stop for a moment and ask yourself what could I have done better. Look in the mirror first.

The next ten years will be the most significant shift in LGBT rights in history. That cannot be stopped. We will need all of us, working together, to move forward.

Today? I woke up, ready to reach deep down and remember, it's time to make the world change for LGBT people.

It will.

I promise.

The “Call” at Qualcomm Stadium- Translation Needed!

Can someone please tell me where in the Bible Jesus spoke tongues? Because they are babbling away at Qualcomm Stadium today in his name.

Personally, I don’t think Jesus was a freak like the group filing in to protect marriage against the end of times- equal rights to all.

After hours of fasting, folks filed into Qualcomm Stadium boasting of 70,000 people were on their way to fight the evils of Equality in the state constitution.

Try 7,100, tops.

Even the Knights of Columbus did a solemn march to the event.




Where were their funny little cars?

When the going gets tough, the tough does great video editing to make it look full. It wasn’t. Although there were folks milling into the press box speaking tongues.

I guess that’s because they were hungry and the press had pizza.

I wonder where God is on this debate about treating people as different and taking away their rights. I don’t believe in God. I wish I could sometimes but I don’t.

But for those who do, I have to ask- do you think God would be nasty? Hateful? So many parts of the Bible focus on being kind, helping one another, and justice. I mean, the Jews got kicked all over the desert, and I don’t think God liked that.

Jesus, was after all, Jewish.

I wonder about all those people going to church. I walked up to the Grace Cathedral earlier. It’s a beautiful building, obviously built with a great deal of passion.

There is a Keith Haring AIDS Chapel altarpiece. It is a welcoming space. Even as an atheist I feel a sense of belonging. Maybe it’s because I’m in the heart of San Francisco and everywhere feels welcoming to me. I’m asked my gender preference- sir or miss- respectfully.

I guess those Christians have different rules than other Christians. It’s very confusing as an outsider. The Evangelicals think their version is it. The Catholics, theirs, and the Episcopal’s are more forgiving but they think they are right.

And we haven’t even hit the Protestants.

I wonder how this fits into legal rights because last I looked there is a separation of church and state. If marriage is all about religion then government should not recognize it.

End of discussion.

I walked the labyrinth. I might not be religious but I can be quietly spiritual. As I moved through it I kept thinking, what kind of person hates so deeply? I have been angry with people in my life- furious in fact. But hate, as I tell my kids, is a powerful emotion that only hurts you.

Never the other person.

I’m not sure that’s really true. I am hurt by the hate. I see myself as incredibly average. I write part time, I stay home with my kids, and I do all the suburban housewife activities. Nothing out of the ordinary, to be honest.

Yet all those swaying, crying, singing, dancing folks out in San Diego today are preparing to “defeat” me. To save the world against my kind.

I wonder… who will save us against them?

It’s ironic because I cannot even imagine taking away their rights to babble on, or to hold a gathering in a stadium, or their right to be recognized as equal citizens. I don’t agree with them, they basically scare me, but I still believe they have rights.

Why can’t they practice the Golden Rule? Would they want me to organize to take away their rights?

Vote No on Prop. 8 in California this Tuesday and maybe they’ll all go have some dinner and settle down. Realize they are a part of a diverse state, with many people of many different religions.

Rights are rights and, as the California Courts ruled, one group cannot be discriminated against simply because another group doesn’t like them.

It’s the same in every language- even tongues.

It's Hard to be Good

The news out here in CA is the hacking of the No on 8 website. It seems there was a coordinated attack on the CA site and FL, No on 2, site.

Nice.

I've heard over and over again, it's so hard to be good. Why can't we deploy these scummy tactics? Why don't we hack their websites? Create outrageous lies in our ads to scare people into voting our way?

Because we see ourselves as the good guys. We can't stoop that low. I know that's right but sometimes, I get so frustrated, I just want to win.

We won't. Of course we won't. We're not willing to give up our ideals, our morals, our beliefs. Someone should remind the Log Cabin Republicans of that.

I'm going out to a women's event in Oakland today.

Senator Barbara Boxer and Congresswoman Barbara Lee will kick off “Women’s No on 8 BYOCell – Cell Phone Call to Action,” aimed at rallying Democratic women to actively work to defeat Prop 8. Senator Boxer, Congresswoman Lee, Assemblywoman Loni Hancock, and Women’s Foundation of California Chair Elmy Bermejo will hold a press conference at Everett & Jones Barbecue in Oakland as volunteers call women voters to urge them to go to the polls on November 4th and cast their ballots against Prop 8.

Come if you can. Look for me- I'll have on a Mass Equality button. I'll buy you a beer to go with that barbecue.

We'll do what we do best- call, ask, plead our case. Gather together to remember, if nothing else, that this is the right thing to do.

And the right way to do it.

Armageddon in California

I have a question for all those religious groups are pouring money into California to try and make a constitutional amendment to limit access to legal contracts – and that is what marriage is, a legal contract first and foremost- we’re not going away. They are funding discrimination in the name of Jesus.

I am a suburban lesbian mom. I live in Massachusetts. Last I checked, the end of the world has not occurred. No plagues, no locusts, no hell fire and damnation. I am married to a woman I have spent the last 18 years of my life with. We have three kids. We pay taxes and support our community. Recognizing us with the same dignity and respect as everyone else has not changed the divorce rate amongst heterosexuals.

Nor has it lead to teaching sexuality in kindergarten.

Society has not crumbled. I know the right wing would like you to think it has but last I looked, it’s all pretty much the same.

The irony about this is how I teach my kids tolerance for the people who would dissolve my marriage. Who would throw me into conversion therapies to make me “right.” I tell them its okay for other people to have a different opinion.

It’s just not okay to take away someone else’s rights because of those opinions.

We all need to learn a little more tolerance. We all need to stop for a moment and ask ourselves, deep down- how will this truly change my life?

California is no different that Massachusetts. The world will not end. It’s not Armageddon. And when people tried to take our rights away? We fought back. We’re fighting back in California. James Dobson and his crew can pound the airwaves with hateful messages, they can liked us to pedophiles, they can say that it’ll lead to people marrying donkeys or their brothers or mothers. They can put small children’s faces on the TV with their innocent eyes and say somehow our loving, committed relationships will lead to their demise.

I don’t quite understand that but maybe that’s because I’m raising three kids and I have seen no lack of morality in them. Except maybe when they finish the orange juice and put the empty carton back in the refrigerator.

The reality is, if we lose in California? We will continue to fight. We’ll go to the courts, we’ll draft legislation, and we’ll keep fighting until we have equality. We’ll raise money, they’ll raise money. Millions wasted over something that doesn’t cost a dime.

If you are tired of the argument, tired of the ridiculous warning that the world will end, please reach into your weary wallets and give one more time. Let’s finish this so California can go on to tackle bigger issues like Education, Health Care, and the budget crisis.

It’s not Armageddon. No one is going to take away anyone’s right to preach the evils of homosexuality. No one is going to marry his or her dog. Four years we’ve had equality in Massachusetts.

Nothing has changed. My partner is my wife now. We have legal rights. People who hate me still hate me. They still get to preach every Sunday about how evil I am.

The only people who have anything to lose? Are all the families, like mine, across California and all of our straight allies who want their kids to grow up in a country that believes in equality. Fairness.

Cabbies Know Best

I was at a table of volunteers, all calling people. It’s wild here right now. Calling for volunteers, calling for Election Day visibility. There is a volunteer coordinator who is a clone of my sister in law, Tonita who is giving out instructions.

Nice but direct.

No one has made calls before but their packets are great. Cell phones provided if need be. Long lists. Text to read. Nervous questions asked about what was the right thing to fill out on the forms. Do you leave a message or just hang up?

Never leave a message, I said. It’s too easy to ignore.

At my table there were several young, gay men. An older straight woman who had been to Reno to knock on doors for Obama and felt this was the most important thing to do right now. Everyone started off slowly reading the lines, starting to roll after a while. Mostly people called are willing to be engaged at some level.

It’s easier to do this in a room full of people.

Money, however, is hard to raise. Tapped out. Broke. Can’t do more.

I understand, fully, the feeling- and the reality. Since the primaries, it’s been call after call, looking for political donations. I don’t ever remember a time when so much has been asked for.

Or so much was at stake.

I keep looking over my lists, who else can I call? Who are the straight allies I can ask? Even a couple hundred dollars makes a difference right now. (I know that feels like a lot but please understand, I’m used to asking for much more.)

I took a cab back- I’m kind of a baby about public transportation when I’m tired. First thing in the morning is fine but… I have my limits.

Okay, I’m kind of a big baby in general.

The cab driver was an old stoner from the 1960’s, with a long, gray ponytail. How do you like San Francisco, he asked.

I love it, I said. It’s a beautiful city.

He asked why I was here and I explained I came out to work on Prop 8. I did not mention which side but seeing that he picked me up in the Castro, it was an easy guess.

No on 8! He said loudly. Stupid rednecks need to just shut up.

I agreed.

Even the Republicans think it’s stupid. It’ll fail. There is no way it’ll pass.

I hope not, I said. A lot of money has come into the state to tell you all what to do.

After pulling what could only be deemed a Boston driving move, he said, There are enough right-minded people. It’ll never pass.

We then went on to discuss why Californians were so mellow.

It’s the pot, he said. We have great weed out here.

Indeed.

I found it funny that his voice was even, calm, and had that California lilt to it. And yet he drove like a maniac. I do believe, though, Cabbies often know the pulse of their city better than most. They always know where to get great food. I guess San Francisco is a no-brainer- but he seemed certain about the state.

You have a little Bostonian in you, I said as we pulled up.

He laughed. Just a little during rush hour.

The rented space for No on 8 was full when I left. Hundreds of people sitting at tables making calls. The energy was high. People are nervous.

Not my cabbie, though. I hope he’s right.

Pride Parade

This year, Governor Deval Patrick marched with his daughter, Katherine, in the Gay Pride Parade.




I have been told it is the first time a Governor has done so. I cannot verify it but as we all said today, if it's in the Boston Globe, it's good enough for us.

Tide is Changing

If the California Supreme Court rules in favor of allowing gay marriage, as is expected, do we all understand the magnitude of this decision?

Massachusetts set the precedent with Goodridge vs. the Department of Health. The first state in the country that allowed equal marriage rights. Because it's not so much about "gay marriage" now is it? It's about fair and equal access to rights.

If California rules in a similar fashion? It is no longer a single rouge state. It's a movement across the country.

I don't think marriage rights are the end all and be all of the LGBT civil rights movement. But it is a cornerstone. A key piece.

And funny thing? California doesn't have an antiquated law from 1913 that doesn't allow people from out of state to get married.

There will be no stopping the tide of change.

Back To Reality

Zachary's Day of Silence

The Day of Silence has begun. At this point, I think he's enjoying annoying his brothers.

I will not be talking to the class. Even though this was requested weeks ago, nothing was sent out, no permission slips done so Zachary is on his own. I'm angry that I cannot go stand with him and explain but I also think the best voice for this is his own.

Or his own silence.

The teachers will have to explain- or not. I asked Zachary why he was doing this last night as I tucked him in to bed.

He said, For all the gay and lesbian people who were killed just because they were gay or lesbian. It's just like what used to happen to Black people. They were treated different just because they were Black. It's stupid.

Ah, the wisdom of a ten year old. It is stupid.

I emailed the principal, the teachers, to explain I would not ask him to wait another week. He's ten after all. His enthusiasm should be applauded not put on hold for paperwork.

He would not have to have a permission slip to do a protest about the war. Or to explain his participating in the Walk for Hunger. In fact, the only thing that requires a permission slip is talking about gay people.

Right now, he's hunched over a book- The Big Nap- wearing his favorite New England Patriots Jersey, mismatching shorts, and a pair of slip on Vans. He has a sticker on his chest that reads:

DAY of SILENCE

Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence (DOS), a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by lesbian and gay people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by bullying, name-calling and harassment.

I believe the ending the silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment to address these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today.

What are you doing to do to end the Silence?

I know what Zachary is doing.

Update on Day of Silence

I spoke with the teachers and they are very excited to have Zachary do this and want me to come in and explain to the class what Zachary is doing and why. They asked that Zachary wait till the Friday following vacation week so parental notification fliers can be sent out.

The reality even in as progressive a school district as Newton, MA, is that one of the only things that require notification is discussion of gay families.

I said I'd ask Zachary. The national day falls on a day when they are all on vacation. Could he wait until the week after?

He agreed. I explained that I would come in and talk to his class. He nodded seriously, Sounds good.

I'm watching my son who was so shy at one point, he didn't say a word when his bus driver didn't stop at his house and drove him to the depot, parked and left without checking the seats. A boy we held back from starting kindergarten because he wouldn't ask a teacher out loud for more snack or raise his hand during morning circle. A boy who would hide behind me when relatives came to visit, taking so long to speak up his older cousin would ask, Where's the little one?

A silent protest fits him well.

Proud? More than proud.

Day Of Silence

This morning, Jeanine and I were treated to a fourth grade presentation on the civil rights movement in the southeast region of the country. It was a timeline of PowerPoint presentations, from slavery to the civil rights movement.

Our son Zachary presented the book he read with a classmate. Excellent work.

What struck me though, was the two parents that came up to me and mentioned that Zachary had told their son that he was going to be silent one day at school. That is was a protest.

I was surprised. We had talked about the Day of Silence and what it was for over dinner the other night. Jeanine is organizing the students at Berklee who want to participate.

Zachary, obviously, soaked it in. He told his friend that it was about the violence against gays and lesbians- he didn't understand the bisexual or transgender piece- and it was about being silent in protest of that violence.

Then, I was proud. Yes, I explained. It is... and we talked about it as we walked out over the school yard.

I found this video on the http://www.dayofsilence.org/ site.




It is wrong. I've emailed Zachary's teachers and offered to go speak about why Zachary will be silent that day.

My son made me so proud today.

GayWired Piece

I've posted a piece on GayWired.com today, and sorry, it won't be cross posted here. Please go read, Lawrence King Killing Begs the Question: Where are Our Leaders?

Go comment over there, send me some love- it's a paying gig!

Blood, Guts and No Al Gore

We’re killing ourselves.

The LGBT leadership in this country is being thrown to the wolves, throwing each other to the wolves… And then complain to the national media that we are not getting enough recognition of our issues in the presidential campaign. The AP ran a story today, “Some Gays Frustrated with 2008 Presidential Campaign.” In the story, several leaders in the community said they were “ disappointed that the three leading contenders rarely mention gay-rights topics unless responding to a question.”

I have to say, I find that a little stunning to read, considering the LOGO Presidential forum last August, not only did the candidates participate in an LGBT forum, it was the first time in commercial television history it happened.

I know it happened in 2004 on CSPAN but I’m not sure many people outside the beltway actually watch CSPAN.

And each were asked about not only gay marriage, gay equality issues- they were asked about transgender issues, too.

I appreciate Susan Ryan-Vollmar, the former editor of Bay Windows, frustration. "They've merely settled on what the Democrats have staked out as a safe, consensus position, just far enough ahead of where the party was in 2004 to give a sense of progress but not so far as to threaten Middle America," Ryan-Vollmar wrote. "That's not leadership, it's poll-tested and party-approved pandering, pure and simple."

But unlike Ryan-Vollmer, I have to wonder how much of it is from our own lack of leadership.

We’ve been busy accusing, backstabbing, and ruining the reputations of our leaders. “A gay man’s lawsuit against the Democratic National Committee has revealed allegations of bitter, behind-the-scenes disputes that appear to pit black DNC officials against gays.”

Great. Like two underrepresented minorities need to be going at it?

And the Human Rights Campaign- like them or not, they are the largest LGBT group on Capitol Hill- has been continually hammered for it’s stance on ENDA.

I hated their stance. I’ve written about it. I complained loudly.

While I’m personally going to continue to push for an inclusive ENDA and HRC’s leadership around it. I am also aware it’s not the only issue HRC is involved with. It’s time to stop the infighting and win an election.

And have strong voices. I will say this for Mr. Solomonese- it was not an easy chorus to disagree with. Hate him or love him, you have to respect the fortitude.

The worst part of the current accusations flying back and forth around the DNC, and the leadership and the gay staff is the lack of cohesion at a time when we are desperate to win an election. Not to mention if you are on Capitol Hill, whom do you look to for leadership from the gay community?

You wait until the dust clears and see who’s standing.

I guess that would be Al Gore. Straight guy comes out for gay marriage equality. No one attacks him, celebration ensues.

I don’t know all the facts about the suit against the DNC. That is for a court of law to decide. In the meantime… I want to win the White House.

If we want to hear our issues be brought to the table? We better stop killing each other.

As the AP article noted, “Few constituencies are as eager for the Republican Party to falter this political season as gay-rights activists.”

I’m not asking for us all to get along all the time, but how about for the next 9 months? We need to remain focused. We have a mission.

The White House.