It Doesn't Make Sense
My son came home from school yesterday after having watched a movie about the Civil Rights movement in the 1960's.
It was horrible, he said.
As he described the church bombing, the hoses and the police dogs, he asked me, why?
People who were in power wanted to stay in power. They wanted to beat them down but they fought back.
Jake was listening to this conversation. After about an hour, he came up and asked me, Why did they kill the girls that were changing their clothes?
I said, They bombed the church. They didn't care who was inside.
He kept asking questions, throughout the rest of the day. Finally, I said to him, You're trying to make sense of this. It doesn't make any sense.
Eleven gay bars in Seattle had ricin threats sent to them in the mail on Tuesday. Last night, hackers brought down a bunch of LGBT blogs.
"Pam's House Blend, RadicalRuss.net, American Liberalism, BeThink.org are some of the sites affected. I haven't gone down the whole Soapblox blogroll yet, so far it seems the state blogs were not affected; I assume the hack is restricted to only one server."
As I listened to my sons try and digest the horror of the Civil Rights movement, I wanted to say something about what is going on today in the LGBT movement. How transpeople all over the south are being killed with no real police effort to do anything about it. How Sean Kennedy's murderer is being set free after little time in jail.
How could I? How could I explain that people do hateful things to people who are different and that I, their mother, am one of the targets? Just because the one I am in love with, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, share the responsibilities of adulthood with, share my bed with, is a woman instead of a man.
It doesn't make any sense.
It was horrible, he said.
As he described the church bombing, the hoses and the police dogs, he asked me, why?
People who were in power wanted to stay in power. They wanted to beat them down but they fought back.
Jake was listening to this conversation. After about an hour, he came up and asked me, Why did they kill the girls that were changing their clothes?
I said, They bombed the church. They didn't care who was inside.
He kept asking questions, throughout the rest of the day. Finally, I said to him, You're trying to make sense of this. It doesn't make any sense.
Eleven gay bars in Seattle had ricin threats sent to them in the mail on Tuesday. Last night, hackers brought down a bunch of LGBT blogs.
"Pam's House Blend, RadicalRuss.net, American Liberalism, BeThink.org are some of the sites affected. I haven't gone down the whole Soapblox blogroll yet, so far it seems the state blogs were not affected; I assume the hack is restricted to only one server."
As I listened to my sons try and digest the horror of the Civil Rights movement, I wanted to say something about what is going on today in the LGBT movement. How transpeople all over the south are being killed with no real police effort to do anything about it. How Sean Kennedy's murderer is being set free after little time in jail.
How could I? How could I explain that people do hateful things to people who are different and that I, their mother, am one of the targets? Just because the one I am in love with, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, share the responsibilities of adulthood with, share my bed with, is a woman instead of a man.
It doesn't make any sense.
Labels: gay and lesbian families, hate crime, lesbian mom, LGBT families, LGBT issues, lgbt rights
posted by Sara at 2:03 PM
10 Comments:
There is no explanation. It's just sad.
I wish I knew some gay hackers.
I think you hit the nail on the head. People in power want to stay in power.
Also, the archetype of the "scapegoat" is very important in Judeo-Christian theology (which is not to say that all Christians or Jews are homophobic).
It dates back to early Judaism where on the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur), the sins of the people were placed in theory upon an actual goat which was then stoned to death.
The concept of Jesus as Savior comes from this. The sins of the world are placed upon the innocent who is killed by the guilty as a twisted means of absolution.
But we also see it in the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition and the Witch Trials, not to mention the persecution of racial and ethnic minorities. Today we see it in the persecution of LGBT people.
Remember when Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell (who was a big supporter of racial segregation) blamed gays, feminists, pagans and abortionists for the 9/11 attacks? This bizarre form of psychological projection comes from that same archetype of the scapegoat.
Their motto is, Why accept responsibility for one's own fear and problems when you can blame and persecute someone else?
It doesn't make sense. There is nothing in either case that makes sence. The only other thing I can think of is that they are afraid.
Thank you for THINKING of children and of a child's perception of life ESP. post-P8. I want to run out of the house and protect young children's eyes and ears but I can't.
The FEDS are perfectly fine with a 30-year war on the collective Q-psyche via the state-by-state route to FAMILY equality. They also allowed a PROCESS to happen that should have NEVER happened [vote away family rights]. It's the FEDS, but the organizations insist on state-by-state.
My own blog was DARK today
[Hate in 2008; Armageddon by 2010]; between the ricin terrorist and packing up my studio for good [drama], I went DARK. But I think I do know human nature enough to see where all of this is going if we allow it. I've heard so little about children, the APA studies, the precedent PROP 8 sets for 40+ other states, long-term mental wear-and-tear on a community that is suffering ENOUGH. Nut Jobs on BOTH sides will snap. This Is Not Good.
): Why can't be answered by someone who is asking the same questions. They teach history in school they say so we are not destine to repeat it so much for that theory.
Love you lots hugs for those boys and a big one for you.
ttfn
You'll be there for them and keep them from harm. And so will your wife and your friends.
You can explain to them that many people are, in their hearts, afraid.
You can explain that nothing is more scary to those people than other people who are different.
You can explain to them that, when politicians run for office and their campaigns are focused around promising to do something that hurts those people who appear to be different, those politicians are interested only in their own political survival.
You can explain to your children that, simply by being themselves and living their lives and talking about their lives, they are the most powerful possible voice for justice and understanding that anyone can find.
You can also explain that the fact that your children cannot comprehend why anyone would want to hurt anyone else because of race or gender or ethnicity or disability or sexual orientation or gender identity means that they’re heroes.
And you can take a look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that heroes are not born, they’re made. And then remind yourself, and your wife, that they are made by their parents.
And then give yourself a pat on the back.
Thank you.
My advice to you?
FIND A WAY to explain to them that GLBT people are facing the same kind of hate, prejudice, discrimination and violence today.
FIND A WAY to tell your children that you, their mother, is a victim of this hate today.
By all means find your own way but find it and act upon it as soon as possible because your children NEED to know this. If they are old enough to hear about the black church bombings in the 1960's then they're old enough to hear about hate crimes against GLBT people today.
As a father of a young son myself I know how difficult and uncomfortable these discussions can be, but they are necessary because no one will tell our stories in the classroom or in the mainstream press.
TampaZeke, Suburban work at home husband/father
ah, but Zeke, it's scary to hear your mom might be in danger. random danger.
my middle son, zachary, wrote on his winter camp form to the question what he likes about home: "I feel safe here."
I can't mess with that. he's only 11.
When one of my kids came out to me, a long time ago, I said, out of fear for my child, "You don't have to be SO out, baby. Be careful."
And my child said, "If I was black, I couldn't hide it."
My kids have always been my teachers.
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